is it the first of the month?
do you want to have a positive mental attitude?
do you want to cultivate good fortune for yourself,
in the day to day doings and goings on that constitute your life?
then you've got to hold that in your head, and your heart,
and make sure you're paying attention to the calendar, and the clock.
you know what we do when it's the first day, don'tcha?
we say the magic F*ing words, nerds.
rules is rules.
and the intentional activation of a summoning spell,
spoken aloud, with no factual basis in time and space,
is the best way to focus your intent on a fortuitous future.
...that's a thing.
did you say it?
it doesn't cost anything to let a little superstition into your morning, man,
on the ones,
i want whatever invisible, intangible, indomitable, indefatigable
super-secret universal planagram to bestow the imaginary benevolence
and violence of it's big action particles on my big active participation
in whatever today, and every other day, has in store for me.
where do we begin?
we begin with the first, and we say the thing.
i spit it out, and i let it launch upwards and outwards into the air:
now, we'll see if the midmark of this year is the turning point,
aiming towards progress, and productivity, and results, for my face.
but first, for just a little minute,
let's take a little retrospective of what happened right before today became the day.
waaaaaay back when yesterday was the day,
and the last day,
and my semi-sweet day OFF.
there was rain.
there was humidity.
there were bugs by the score.
there was a bit of yard work, until the rains came back to ruin
and repel any forward motions that'd happened up until that moment.
but before ALL of that really happened,
there was breakfast.
the big B.
with little waffles.
and little waffles are especially good for one thing-
making the same batter turn into MORE waffles.
and that's a good thing, for sure-
because too much is the right amount...
take a look at how a real warrior poet prepares for a big day off:
custom oatmeal coconut waffle wizardry was in absolute full effect.
i just tossed it all together, barely rested it,
and dropped a scoop into my brand new mini-waffle-maker!!!
oh, yeah, it's a one at a time kind of thing but that was still ok with me-
i did have all that other other sh!t to cook up, too.
here's the waffle recipe,
just in case you're feeling froggy later, and wanna leap on it::
2/3 cup white flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
3 T raw sugar;
1/4 cup freshly-ground oat flour;
4 T unsweetened coconut flakes, crushed;
2 tsp bakey powpow;
1 tsp baking soda;
4 T melted plant-based butters;
3/4 cup non-dairy milk;
2 T vegan sour cream;
1 tsp vanilla.
^put it in a bowl and stir it up^
that's waffles, in one shot, bro.
and when you turn those little dented circles up to eleven
with real new hampshire maple syrup???
unstoppable sexxiness in on your plate.
that's when you blow the doors off,
and hit 'em with that kapowdery sugary sprankle magic.
you may not be able to handle that much hot fire, friends.
.....those hash browns?
holy crapola, kids.
they are 100% good,
and the complete and total new hottness for my face, and probably your face,
and maybe even everybodys' faces, too.
one large peeled red potato, and a good-sized yellow carrot, also peeled,
grated up, salted up,
and settled down to de-water themselves in a colander for a bit.
there's about 4 T thinly-shredded red onion in there, too, for maxxximum flavor.
y'gotta squeeze the ever-lovin' livin' liquid from 'em,
or they won't get crispy,
but the good news is that the fibrous strands want to weave together,
so you can shape them into circles, and they'll stay that way when you fry them.
black pepper on top,
butterish on the bottoms,
and plenty of high heat to crisp their shells into the perfect caramel crunchiness
you see right there.
i ate 7 waffles.
that's 28 square inches of shark gluttony.
(also that's two more than you see, but i'm not about to leave leftovers, bruh)
and, that's 3 hashers, too.
one is semi-buried. look closer.
it's called the big B, dude.
not the b!tch B.
don't be weak and diapery.
it's not a good look.
avocado showed up, and was welcomed with open arms and mouth.
hemp-heart superfood protein exxxplosive nootch-boosted tofu scrambo
did the thing it does,
but this time,
there was added salsa fresca awesomeness,
and it was a perfect team-up for ultimate edible excellence.
canada hambo circles happened.
i do that sometimes.
and y'know something else?
they were F*ing tasty.
so judge away, if you must,
but i enjoyed every damned bite.
the big B is a necessity.
anything less is sort of sad, really.
and MORE waffles was a great idea.
those hempsters in the 'fu-scram' were, too.
no crunch, just bulk, and in the very best way i could've hoped.
.....it's ALL really happening,
and whe it has to end, like may most certainly HAD to,
i'm glad it went out with a prefect meal.
that's a thing.
today is the day,
and all the pieces are in place.
good news/bad news:
i'm booked most of today with some dude,
which means that there will be movie checks,
and yet, i'll be s.o.l. on meaningful connections;
we'll see if the night somehow improves the premier of june;
never quiet, never soft.....