Saturday, June 3


holy smokes!!
i made a pretty special meal,
and i felt pretty special eating it.
i  felt like a gluttonous shark in a feeding frenzy,
but that's nothing new.
i have a particular mode of mealtime management-
it's a two-parter:
1. too much is the right amount.
2. faster and more furious is the only pace at which to appreciate the meal.
so, i ate a lot, with all haste, as time is always of the essence,
and the second helping on the stovetop wasn't going to stay hot forever.
rules is rules, neighbors,
and one of 'em is:
you stay until the thing is done.
sorry quitters, but if you can't hang out with expert excess,
you very simply will not be invited back.
real talk.
oh, don't worry....
that's an idle threat.
nobody comes here.
and besides,
i know i'm down to destroy myself by dominating a delicious dish of dopeness
after a day of tattoo activation,
and dog walking neighborhood watchfulness,
and grocery getting,
realtor meetings,
and general errant errandry,
how does a masterful man make the magic happen?
with some tasty and terrific, tremendous and stupendous boomfire thai food.
check the spicy-friday-type teleport:

damn, duders,
i surprised myself.
no, for real, though.
tossing a whole mess of stuff in a coconut-oiled pan,
and then crossing my fingers had me pretty pleased with myself.
i kind of figured i'd eat whatever the results were anyway,
i'm just super-psyched they were F*ing expert.
let me begin by saying my sauce game was level eleven fresh-to-death.
no joke.
here's the recipe:
3 T mae ploy sauce;
1 T sriracha;
1 tsp red pepper flakes;
2 tsp chili-garlic paste;
2 T rice vinegar;
1 T soy sauce
1/2 tsp ground coriander seed;
1 tsp ea. GP and OP;
1 tsp agave;
^ that's IT!
let's say you've got coconut oil, and half a block of superfirm tofu, cubed up,
and fried until golden.
that's good news.
then maybe you've also got a couple cups of broccoli,
and half a swet onion,
and an orange pepper,
and two cloves of sliced garlic,
plus minced red chilis and jalapenos, too.
what then?
well, first, take the tofu and put it aside for a bit,
then you throw all those veggies in the pan, man.
that's obvious.
give 'em a few minutes to sizzle,
throw in a cup and change of fresh, wet, tart, amazing pineapple,
and then douse that SAUCE over all of it,
cover it, and give it one more minute.
what happens next?
you get to taste steamy, dreamy, hot, sweet, and spicy, all at once.
that's nice.

victory is assured at this stage, so do we eat?
like, is that it?
no way.
c'mon, now....
what are you?? an A-hole??
that's never it.
the object is MORE.
and also, you just saw the picture.
1/2 cup fresh thai basil get stirred in,
as does a punch of cilantro...
they'll wilt right away,
and that's when you can add the whole thing to a cup or more of coconut lime rice.
guys, it's jasmine rice,
but with lime juice, and unsweetened, unsulphured flake coconut added while cooking.
the name of it is the thing of it, too.
basil garnishes? ok.
mint? maybe just a few tiny leaves.
scallion sprankles?
toasted cashew?
heck yes!!!
sliced jalapeno?
why not?!
a dash o purple cabbage to make it even prettier?
.....and all that crispy-skinned tofu, too!!!
too much IS the best part.
lime, cucumber, mung bean crawnchers, a little lettuce,
ALL the things that stir in, and stir up,
and generally elevate the experience a little tiny bit exxxtra.
they're all there.
i wouldn't want to cheat myself.
i'd know, and i'd be disappointed, and i can't hang out with that.
and how about those rainbow rolls, kids?
cabbages, carrots, pea shoots, cukes, lettuce, mung sprouts...
those all taste good,
it's the mint, cilantro, and basil that bring the NOISE.
wordimus prime.
i only used lime juice to activate them, and i'll be honest,
in addition to all that bright clear clean leafy flavor,
the high note of citrus sexxxiness was all they needed.
i had four of those, too.
i don't drink alcohol.
that's a thing.
in fact, i F*ing HATE it.
no, not because i used to.
i never have imbibed,
i don't plan to start,
and i actively avoid people and places
where that takes prominent precedence over active participation.
it's not my thing.
i do like a boku big drinkie from time to time, tho,
so long as it's fancy, and teetotally awesome.
oh, yes.
thus, my virgiña colada, with strawberry, is the big star in my sky right now.
it went down like this, right here in my high-speed blender:
1/2  cup crushed pineapple;
1 can full-fat coconut milk;
1 cup ice;
1/4 cup sweet key lime juice;
crushed all together, poured off 3/4 up a frosted glass,
and refrozen while the strawberries made their big debut.
in the remaining mixture,
there's a pint of fresh, decapped strawberries, twirled around for added expertism.
damn, damn, daaaaaaamn, DAMN.
and just how good was all that?!?!?
i drank the whole rest of that blenderful of majesty, too.
you stay until the thing is done, dudes, like i said.
rules is rules.
after the sexxxy garnish tumbler was empty, i  chugged it right from the vat.
i'm a little bit gross as soon as the snapshot session is over.
stay ugly, eat beautiful.
that's my thing.
it's a lovely sentiment.
making myself all the super-fancy unnecessary new hottness.
i appreciate it,
i occasionally wonder why i'm constantly making all this exxxtra effort,
just to nourish myself.
i know i know how to do it. so i do it.
and that is how it's done.
because that's the rules, bro.
once you have the big deluxxe, it's hard to accept the ordinary.
it's right in there, under the surface, barely,
all the loud, fresh, hardness for your face.
keeping it under wraps isn't going to accomplish very much, now, is it?
and extra effort seems to be a misnomer.
at least, around the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
where there is only room for MORE.
that's a thing.
taking it easy is not something i want in my life.
MORE is the minimum amount of effort that warrior poets demand.
why do i do it?
because I HAVE TO.
i'm nourished, but i am also sustained.
you eat with your eyes first,
but i think mine might roll back into my head to stay safe
while i tear into each new meal like it's my very first one in years....
i am grateful for the means and methods that i have been granted.
it's all really happening, and i aim to make something of it all;
never quiet, never soft..... 

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