Thursday, June 22


the big B, bro.
at least once a week.
i'm just sayin',
breakfast is important,
it's especially important on a big day.
...and what else could you have, besides the big b, on a big day?
y'gotta keep it really real around here, and stay up, with those big ups.
get up, get busy, get it going, and get it together.
massive mealtime megatonnage is very necessary on that day off.
how else will there be enough raw power to perform to the pinnacle
of expertism?
and besides,
i love food so dang much, i get excited to get out of bed early,
just to jump up at the jump off and fire up all the burners on the stove.
and then,
if it's also the solstice, and summer is here!?!
well, damn, duders,
that's when the shamanic druid sap drops down deeply,
and seeps creepily into the universal interconnectivity of all things
for some people, that commonality threaded throughout the brightest day
causes yoga and prayers and sh!t......
but, that ain't me, man.
i'm on that warrior poet angle,
and instead of silent introspection,
i'm composing barbarian battle hymns in syrup and oats.
don't believe that?
see for yourself:

that's how you big B like a big boy, buddy.
the tofu scrambo has the baconish bits IN it.
way back when i was a kid, my first real friend, liam,
used to add bacon-bits to his eggs,
for a crucial breakfast after his paper route was finished.
i was thinking of him, and everybody else i never spoke to ever again,
and i guess what i took away from it was the throwback recipe for scramblin'.
i should've been a surgeon, but for all the blood,
because i will dissect and excise whole swaths of spirit and memory 
if it seems they've become surplus to requirements.
the lasting impression left by ghosts of days long gone
is one of flashburnt blur, shadows, and smoke-
the recipes endure bruh.
the recipes remain.
and that's something, at least.
it was two browned-up pink flaps.
....of fake baconlike canadian weirditude....
diced into little flecks,
combined with half a block of exxxtra-firm tofu,
turmeric, smoked paprika, pink salt, black pepper, Garlic Power, Onion Powder,
nutritional yeast, hemp hearts, and olive oil,
why is that so good?
i mean, for realsies, i could eat ALLLLL the scramborghini on earth, i think.
yum yum YUMMM.
F* yes
it makes the scram turn UP.
and when it's time to get TILTY?
you already know those fried tomatoes are the only route to TILTville.
rules is rules.
the breakfast regimen has taken shape.
and the good stays good, whereas the bad, and even the just-ok, all edited out.
there's no time for mediocre foodstuffs in my life.
i want hottness, new hottness, bigger hottness, and MORE hottness.
everything else can eat old butts.
...and how about those hashbrowns?
wordimus prime.
they're always expert.
this time with arugula to kick in some sharp and pungent leafy green nutrients,
along with texas petey's pee pee....a.k.a. that red hot ho' sauce.
one large potato, shredded, with red onion in abundance,
salted, pressed, drained, formed into party patties, and fried up black on both sides
on a hot griddle.
simple, albeit, time-consuming-
letting them drain prior to the big squeeze feels like it takes FORever.
yes. it IS worth it, obvi, or \i'd just make homeboy fries every time.
the grand griddle showboat.
the big action activation.
the boomfire flapjackin' attack.
that's what this is really all about.
those oatmeal ho'cakes are the TRUTH.
1 cup flour;
1/4 cup quick oats;
1/4 cup coarse whole oat flour(the old fashioned kind);
3 T sugar;
2 tsp bakey powder;
1 tsp bakey soda;
3 T oat bran;
3 T vegan sour cream;
3 T melted earth balance buttery spread;
1 cup nondairy milk;
2 tsp vanilla;
add it, whisk it, and let it sit for a minute.
that's all there is to do.
so, why do they taste so F*ing rad?!
because oatmeal makes you a champion,. dummy.
get with it.
a medium-high griddle, a spatula,
and some love and affection are all you need from there.
the look good, but they taste great.
because of how coarse and manly the batter was,
i just freeformed 'em, drop-top style,
and as you know by now, that is not normally my thing.
however, in this instance, i think it was the right call,
as the buttery oaten crisp on the outsides needed a little rustication
to complete the visual on the plate.
....yeah, i care about things like that.
and then there's real new hampshire maple syrup,
and fresh juicy ripe and ready peaches,
AND plant-based airy and amazing whipped style 'cream'.....
from an expensive can of aerosol awesomeness.
that's how you get the big B to bring the thunder and lightning!
so, now it's summer,
and that's a big deal.
not just because there will presumably be nicer weather more often,
but also because i've got to get into my new thing.
rules is rules, neighbors.
and every summer, it's time to get expert at something new.
i s'pose we'll all find out together what's poppin' in the days and weeks to come.
it's all really happening,
and that's not just the best part,
it's also the whole point;.
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: