Monday, June 12


sweetie pies,
and honey pies,
and cow pies......
there's so many pies out there.
and most of them, i'm not gonna eat.
unless they're plant-based, in which case it's ON like TRON.
(but even then, still no cow pies, thank you)
here's the thing-
when it comes to getting the treats to activate in minimal time,
but still reaping rewards vastly unequal to the labor invested?
there can only be one answer.
it requires no rolling, no resting, no nothin', really,
well, besides being expert,
and going after it exxxtra-large.
when too much is the right amount,
but not-enough is how much time you have?
the answer is cookie pie,
and it's a pretty flippin' great solution to the problem of more pie in less time.
check the ooey-gooey-chewy-type teleport:

on the real,
it's fat as F* and it's thiqqq as hell, and it's got all the best bits about rock bloxxx,
but in epic proportions.
the insides stay super-soft, but the chocolate chips get alllll melty,
and the edges puffed up, but the center stayed level....
this sh!t right here has got some big business 'bout itself.
no jokes.
it's another 'nother one for the archives.
and you'd best believe i made that photograph way better by removing some of it:

i wish there was a special secret soething that had to happen to recreate this,
it's a totally accessible and regular-A* way of doing things.
get you a cast-iron pan, and an oven, and you're most of the way there.
here's the rest, fleshed out in full detail, for you to reproduce as you see fit...
preheat your oven to 355℉.
in a medium bowl, cream together:
1/3 cup sugar;
1/3 cup raw sugar crystals;
1/3 cup dark brown sugar;
(don't think it doesn't matter when you freak it off like that, because it DOES)
10 T plant-based butterish (earth-balance is the way and the light);
2 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp salt.
when that's all well-combined, stir in
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce, and mix well.
then, it's dry stuff time:
2 1/4 cups flour;
1/2 cup oat flour;
1/2 cup coarse-ground unsweetened coconut;
1/3 cup mini-choco chips;
1/3 cup big choco chips;
2 tsp bakey powpow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
^ stir it up and then mash it together by hand to get intimate with your dough,
and make it the ultimate in cookie consistencies...
i parchmented the 9" cast-iron, just because i have bread to bake in a hurry,
and reseasoning isn't always time-effective prior to baking,
and also,
because it helped me remove the whole pie in one shot.
that's smart.
i baked it for about 25 minutes? maybe less.
it rose up deep-dish style,
and it got a crust-like edge where i pressed it into the pan.
well, yeah, man,.
rules is rules.
i DID hand place and arrange those driptop-upside chocolate chip sprankles, too.
the texture is too damned nicey-nice.
the taste is just like you'd expect: expert to eleven.
and the only downside is, treats this tasty disappear awfully quick.
good thin we've got the recipe, huh/
now we can make MORE.
that's really the whole point, anyway.
bike weak (still wrote it right) has got great weather happening.
that's sort of a bummer, y'know?
it only means MORE bikers,
which is like asking for MORE AIDS.
no thank you.
great weather only makes me feel like i'm an even  bigger jerk
for not messing around in my yard and gardens
when i have a spare minute in the mornings.
the thing of it is,
i've got other, bigger, more profitable things to do,
and i've got a scatterbrain open-choke blasting in random directions all day long,
far away from the grass-blades and leaf mould of my Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
i have potentially reached the limits of how many things i can multitask at once,
and i'm gonna have to do some midterm add/drop sh!t
if i aim to take any one thing to completion....
there are big plans in the works,
and i cannot afford to eff them up.
it's ALL really happening.
i'd like to say that journey sucks hard balls compared to arriving at the destination,
so i seriously hope i make landfall soon.
this five year voyage into neverending work has got me feelin' a certain kind of way;
never quiet, never soft.....

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