Friday, June 23


when it's time to get summery-
and that is what happens specifically once it is officially summer......
...which it IS, now, as a matter of fact,
y'gotta make treats that keep the feeling pumped up, y'know?
i know you know, because you wouldn't be reading this if you didn't.
word up.
now that we know about summer feelings,
let's talk about summer treats.
it begins with berries, broski.
berries and lemon and sugar and vanilla.
wanna know what ese is pretty rad?
cake is just kind of special.
most people only eat it when it's a big deal day of celebration.
i F* with cake heavy in these streets,
because every damned day is special.
...and what's even better than cake?
summer berry lemon cake!!
check the teleport:

if i'm gonna summer up a treat,
i'mma make it look sexxxy, neighbors.
that's mandatory.
and also, those berries, upside down style, were a good call.
two tiers of tastiness, slightly different, but totally expert,
sandwiched on either side of that lemony creamchee' frosting?!
hell. yes. y'all.
i don't always stack my cakes, but when i do, i'm always psyched.
real talk.
it's summer.
(it's raining, right now, which is pure sh!t)
and it's time to elevate and activate the hottness like a champ.
for realsies,
if you aren't turning it up to eleven,
you may as well just turn it off.
too much is the right amount, man.
i believe that,
and i baked that,
strawberry/blueberry upsidedown lemony cake
is the right choice to begin the summer with.
here's how you too can have your very own:
preheat your oven to 360℉.
in your very handy, very necessary stand mixer,
soften and whip up:
1 cup sugar;
1/44 cup powdered sugar;
1 stick earth balance buttery goodness;
1 1/2 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp coconut essence (so dope)
1 tsp lemon extract;
2 tsp lemon zest.
then add, and whisk the sh!t out of:
3/4 cup non-dairy yogurt;
1/2 cup + 2 T tapioca starch;
then, sift in:
3 cups flour + 2 T cornstarch:
2 tsp baking powpow;
1 tsp baking soda;
begin the big whisk-up,
and add:
1 cup non-dairy milk;
1/4 cup lemon juice.
^when it's whipped into a fluffed out batter,
pour it into two 9" rounds,
with 1 1/2 cups ea. bloobs and sliced strawberries layered on the bottoms.
that's how upside down works, kiddo.
bake the for 35-45 minutes
(the fruit complicates things. the crumb tastes better,
and has an improved consistency, for all that fruit,
but, it IS wet, and can add as much as 50% to the bake time.
check 'em for doneness, and let them cool completely
before you even think about messing with them any further.
caregully flip and remove them, so that they're fruity topped,
and ready for frosting.
in your same )recently washed) stand mixer,
cream together:
1/2 cup (8T/1 stick) softened vega butts;
3 T non-dairy creamchee';
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp lemon extract;
1/2 tsp lemon zest-
add 3 cups powdered sugar,
and >1/4 cup non-dairy milk/lemon juice.
whip it, bruh-bruh.
whip it reaaaallllll good.
and lay it on thick to the tops of both, and stack 'em up.
i added a tsp of powdered freeze dried strawbs to the remainder,.
goobieblopped some swirls on there,
wrung out the rest, and rewhipped it with another 'nother tsp of bloobs the same way.
well, yes, i did add some pink crystal sugar sprankles, too.
rules is rules, friends, and i do what needs doin'.
the results were wondrous and wizardly and i ate more of it than was wise.
that's my thing.
shoutouts to summer bods, if they look like bloated sausages.
that's what's up!
weird orts, scraps, odds, and ends comprise the whole of my weekend
working up at white mountain tattoo.
all the layaways and leftovers are crawling up and out of the forest,
and looking for your boy to zipzap some crapslaps on their skins.
i guess that's fair.
i had two full weeks of relatively radical days and nights.
it's only fitting that the doo-doo butter gets it's day in the sun, too.
plot twist,
it's gray and cloudy and butt-nasty out there.
let the weather match the day, i say.
the thing is,
i'm not even mad, yo.
this is What Is.
days fade to months fade to years, and it all keeps rolling.
no sense in staying angry, since it's going to continue regardless.
there will be MORE of all of it,
and there's no time, nor room,
for wasting any exxxtra energy on the things we can't escape.
i'm ready to eat sh!t for seventy two hours.
i even brought my own oversized spoon;
never quiet, never soft.....

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