Sunday, June 4


we're a few days into june, already-
oh, it's cool, you'd never know it....
i woke up to 39℉ on the thermometer this morning.
june in the woodsly goodness sometimes has temperatures that start with a 3.
when it comes to magic numbers, three usually has got it going ON.
and while june the third was going on,
i found myself going OFF on a trio of expert righteous vegan pizzas,
all for my fat F*ing face!

i mean,
who cares that every day has been a brutal barrage of big action,
and busy business, and tons of flippin' dudes hanging around?
not me, neighbors.
i'm too caught up in all that i expect from myself every day
to get too caught up in just how tired i am by then of them...
i do find myself waking up in random non-bedroom places
throughout the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress...
either i'm far more exhausted than i'd prefer to acknowledge,
and am literally falling asleep whenever i stop moving for too long;
i'm in full-blown fight club alter-ego mode,
and am really letting that wild mr. albert loose each night to wreak wreck
on the forest and the trees.....
i don't feel rested, but that's not conclusive enough.
i've been killing it at work.
or at least,
i've been fighting each day to a standstill;
leaving with those movie checks, and mangled fingers,
and the grim satisfaction that i did all there was to do,
and left nothing for the ride home...
i do that, and then you know what happens next, don'tcha?
it's got to be PIZZA.
i already showed you that up there^^.
so, like, c'mon, man, let's get it together and talk about just how dope pizza is.
three pizzas!!
that was just about the best idea i've had in days.
no jokes.
and here's the thing-
i haaaate instant dough.
time is of the essence, sure;
but it's also essential to take the time you need to make the dough your deserve
i prefer a little flavor developing activation in my crusts, kids.
and with no treats on the agenda, and minimal minutes to get frisky with my
flour and water and salt and yeast and love an' that-
i just made that sh!t in the morning,
and let it get rowdy all damned day in the fridge.
no bulk rise, just a cold rise/proof for seven hours.
it was a splendid crust, too.
in the big bowl of your stand mixer, fitted with a dough hook, combine:
1 1/2 cup a.p. white flour;
1 1/2 cup semolina flour;
2 tsp salt;
1 1/2 tsp wheat gluten (for maxxximum no-rip stretchability);
3 T olive oil;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast + 2 tsp raw sugar,
dissolved in 1 cup warm water;
(and a little more warm water in reserve, just in case)
beat it up for five minuteson high, until it forms a sticky wad of wonder-
cover it, refrigerate it, and come back later to get awesome with it.
...that's all you need.
i had my oven on the crucial convection setting, circulating superheated air
at about 490℉,
while i let all three of my hand-tossed, stretched out circles rise a bit on the countertop.
that means you'll get three 10" pizzas from that dough.
and that's great news,
because i had a hankering hunger for three different sets of circumstances.
real talk-
MORE pizza is always the right number of pizzas.

homemade plant-based pepperoni!!
caramelized onions!
custom from-scratch exxxtra-nootch-boosted creamy cashew-garlic chee' !!
crushed tomatoes! daiya mozzarella!
fried garlic sprankles!!!
(i'm just sayin', rules IS rules over here)
and then, to turn it up to eleven,
i got those fresh basil leaf upgrade jauns, as well.
sometimes, when it's pizza time, i have to make the house favorite,
even if i'm the only one having it.
deliciousness doesn't care who's around to experience it.
this pizza is always the TRUTH:

those seitan-broth-braised brussels are firm but soft, with powerful flavor,
and slightly crisped edges.
the caramelized onions are my favorites.
shredded vidalia, all slippery sweet....that's good stuff.
and those little cubed up barely browned baconish bits bring the smoky pink to the thing;
i like that.
with daya mozz' and crushed tomatoes,
AND those fried garlic spranks, too?
come on, now, kiddo.
pizza like that is pretty much what everybody needs in their life.
and i still managed to make it even better!
word up.
you see there's raw righteous radicchio ribbons, too, right??
heck yes that's what that is homie.
too much is the right amount!
i don't know if i've ever mentioned it before,
which is why i'm delighted to declare that the obscene scene stealer of the evening,
the runaway breakout star of the show,
the burly bombshell that brought the whole house down,
was this white mountain white pizza,
with ALL the best veggies on top:

WU-TANG, son!!
thin-sliced roasted potatoes, over that creamy custom cashew chee'-
it's the basic rinotta/underchee' recipe, thinned with oil and 'milk,
a punch of nutritional yeast, and a shake of cayenne.....
it's very expert, and that's no joke.
braised broccoli, soft enough to bite into easily,
but firm enough not to turn olive green and gross.
that's the best.
asparagus? yep. thin late season spears, sauteed in oil, tender, with 0% mush.
red and gold grape tomatoes got it poppin',
and grilled leeks took it even further.
the garlic did what it does,
and a handful of minced-up daiya mozz' helped a whole bunch, too.
then, just to assure my mouth of a maxximized freak-it-off flavor exxxplosion,
there's a finishing move of raw arugula-
for the future, for the children, and for the flawless victorious WIN!!!
make it yourself, and eat more homemade pizza.
that's my advice.
take it, or leave.
whenever there's pizza happening,
everything else seems like bullsh!t.
that's good news, and bad news, at the same time.
on the one hand,
the frustrations of the long nights and hard times melts away like vegan chee'
(which is to say: nooooooot reeeeeeallllllly).
but, then, when there's no more pizza?
the despair sets in.
i was grateful to have pizza to look forward to.
i am still grateful that i have the means and the opportunity to make things like that happen.
it's not like i'm living under a leaky bridge with a piece of glass in my eye.
so, there's that.
this Folk Life i lead, in this remote forested mountain vale,
certainly could be infinitely worse...
if only i didn't hold such high aspirations and ambitions,
i might be content....
but that's what ordinary people do,
and that's how lazy diaperbabies live,
and i'm just not about that-
it's pizza highs and workplace lows,
and dog walking, and dough kneading,
and pooping back and forth, forever, instead.
...this is What Is.
the best and worst part is that there's sure to be much more of it;
never quiet, never soft.....

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