Sunday, June 18


coming home after a day of trials and errors
to a kitchen that was suspiciously devoid of cilantro?
what's that all about, man?
well, it's about the wet leaves in tight plastic getting skanky.
for real, if your cilantro is skanky, don't make out with it.
i did have some soft white corn tortillas though,
and a whole mess of other ingredients, too.
no cilantro, but a firm resolve to persevere regardless.
what did i come up with, for me and my buddy nate?
toasty corn circles, browned and crisp,
with all the sexxxiness i could conjure as quickly as i was physically capable of.
check the teleport:

i had tofu!
i had cauliflower!
i had black beans!
i had that spicy, smoky red rice!
...and we ate five apiece.
the rice had bouillon and paprika and smoked paprika and cayenne and ho'sauce added in.
the cauliflower had all of that, plus black pepper, GPOP,
actual garlic, minced sweet onion, and jalapeno sprankles, too.
the tofu got seared in coconut oil,
and seasoned with coriander, cumin, chipotle pepper, turmeric, and oregano.
word up.
tomatoes, radishes, cucumbers, pea tendrils, jalapenos,
sweet red peppers, yellow carrot, mixed lettuces, lime-marinated shredded cabbage...
y'gotta fix it up right.
i mean, i had company, man.
and is that lime-sriracha sour cream drizzled all over all of them?
... it is!!!
all of it, kids-
all of it happened,
and all of it was delicious.
lucky us, i guess...
if you have the time and the ingredients,
i strongly suggest you get your version of this a-poppin'.
you'll likely be glad you did..
father's day.
that's today.
i'm a dad, and that's cool.
i have a dad, and that's neat-o, as well.
i got some friends who've got some kids,
and i'm sure all them are gonna hang tough with all their little dudes today.
as for me?
i'm working.
just like all the other days.
besides, my children are hours and hours away.
living more interesting lives,
and becoming real life people.
i'm sure i'll get a text, maybe with a few emojis.
they sent me a package, so they're already insured against making a phone call.
father's day is one holiday i just don't see the point of.
mother's day? yeah. that's more than fair-
physically exploding a tiny human out of you earns you brunch and flowers.
but watching sports and mowing lawns and going to home depot?
shuuuut up.
F* right off, dads,
i mean, what are you even doing?
MY dad is in the hospital,
and his last words to me just might end up being:
"my meatballs are sizzling, so this is a wasted phonecall,
because i can't hear you, and i'm not trying to have burnt meatballs"
some of you might think that's a bummer,
and maybe for you it would be-
but, for me, that's a story worth retelling,
because it just goes to show that, no matter what,
rules is rules.
i come from a looooong line of dudes who just do what they do,
even in the face of doom.
and when it comes to my pops,
the dude can't be bothered with chronic illness.
especially not when there's food to make.
c'mon, neighbors.
that's real life right there.
it's all really happening.
if you're psyched on dadding- enjoy the day.
if you're psyched on your actual dad- enjoy your day.
if you're not psyched on either- enjoy the day.
and if you're indifferent to the whole scene?
enjoy the day.
this is all we get.
go after those sizzling meatballs for all they're worth,
and don't worry about anybody else;
never quiet, never soft.....

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