Tuesday, May 16


the best part about yesterday?
no question.
not that the rest of it was completely without merit...
it's just that mexican monday
is always such a pleasure to participate in,
and after a slowish day of doing other things,
in the rain,
it's a pretty good idea to do something that you know will be filling and fulfilling,
thrilling and completely over the top.
one man should not consume this much hottness in one shot.
it's practically unhealthy. or at least, unwise.
the thing is- i don't eff around with ugly food.
only the sexxxy stuff.
hmmm? what's that?
yeah. it's a burden, true,
but one i'm willing to bear in the interests of the being dope for it's own sake.
and anyway, you DO eat with your eyes first, friends.
besides, when it looks rad, you can fit more.
that's a thing.
i do the taco thing pretty hard.
i'm sayin', it feels like i have to.
rules is rules.
and that's no joke.
i got home a little minute early,
scooped up my dog, ran around outside for a spell,
and then climbed into the cockpit of a crucial taco rocketship,
blasting off towards uncharted flavors for my flippin' face!
i did a couple of new things!
check the teleport:

six more tacos down the hatch.
soft flour, of course,
as they're the best ones.
because they accommodate the maximum level of food within them.
and there's two kinds, naturally.
too much is the right amount,
and one kind just isn't gonna cut it...
that sounds like a box-mix mentality-
one spice packet, one carton of one dimensional laziness,
one dumb thumbs down to THAT.
word up.
i doo-doo the freaky sh!t, and i'm amply rewarded for my extra effort.

what're some of the highlights of these tight and bright delights?
for starters,
that's oven roasted chipotle cauliflower.
chopped florets, rolled around in black pepper, GPOP,
chipotle pepper, ancho pepper, cumin, pink salt, smoked and hot paprika,
olive oil, and a pinch of sugar-
baked up from a cold start in the oven, turned up to 450℉-
basically, it's being baked at an ever-increasing temperature,
and by the time the oven is preheated, it only needed five more minutes-
when the tips get brown, it's ready.
those were activated properly with purple cabbage, cilantro, cucumber,
thin shaved discs of crunchy purple carrot,
and fresh pico de gallo.
y'ever had pico?
well, i PICO THEY.
(if you know, you know, y'know-shoutouts to the HWC)
two chopped roma tomatoes, salt, pepper, one lime's juice,
a tablespoon of sweet minced onion, a teaspoon of minced red onion,
and a teaspoon of scallion, plus a legit punch of chopped cilantro.
quick, easy, amazing, flavorful, expert.
those other other jauns, tho?
yeah, man.
i had ideas, apparently.
like, the crispy-edged, tender, toothsome
agave-glazed ho'sauce-activated shiitake strips!!
1 1/2 cups sliced shiitake mushrooms,
and half a small sweet sliced onion,
sauteed in olive oil,
with big shakes of GPOP, coriander, cayenne, and black pepper;
small shakes of oregano, paprika, thyme, and salt;
and a big glug of agave once it all begins to soften and wilt and shrink up.
that gets the caramelization underway, and that's where the best flavor resides.
stir it up, reduce the heat, and dash it up wth ho'sauce, to finish it off.
the color is terrific, the texture has zero trace of slimy mushroom grossness,
and the taste is out of control, bro.
sweet 'shroomination is in full effect!
i went hard on the mix-ins for those.
yes, i really did-
fresh jalapeno rings.
red and gold grape tomato chunks.
purple microgreens.
red onion sprankles.
cashew-lime crema.
and quick-pickled radishes.
damn, dudes!
i am totally bragging when i tell you that the radish pickle was a GREAT idea.
real talk.
two big radishes and a little purple carrot, thinly-shaved into circles,
simmered in cider vinegar, with black pepper, crushed red pepper, sugar and salt,
for just about five minutes, and allowed to cool.
that's all it took,
but they took those tacos to eleven like it was their purpose on this earth.
a little lime on each and every one,
and sriracha-flake-sprankled avocado, mostly for the cauli's,
had my whole head spinning,
while i well and truly dominated the whole damned plate into submission.
you do what you do,
and i'll do what i do,
and then we'll compare notes,
in order to see who is a true shark glutton of perpetual motion and appetite.
i eat a magical rainbow of foodstuffs.
i like it to look good, and taste good, and be good for me.
that's zero percent dumb.
in fact, it's downright smart.
i have work, i have chores, i have responsibilities,
and i carry on with all of that because i feel like i HAVE to,
in order to be a fully-functioning well-adjusted adult.
but food?
i choose the superfancy new new and the big action hott hottness.
that's where i get to flex and stunt and generally big-time the haters.
dudes, really now, if i even had any haters, they'd be too busy hatin'
to notice that the tacos around here are fresher than the freshest they'll ever be.
i don;t really even know what that means.
i go all out on my suppers,
and i share my adventures with you guys,
and i hope you enjoy the secondhand dinnertime almost as much as i enjoy making it.
writing is something i like to do.
cooking is too.
and eating?
well, that's what i'm ALL about.
combining them is just about the best way to begin each day.
it's all really happening,
with or without real and/or imagined haters,
and with or without any tangible or virtual congratulators,
and really, that's the whole point;
never quiet, never soft.....

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