Wednesday, May 10


i loved drakes cakes.
y'know what those are?
they're little coffee cakes.
i used to tune up a whole box in one shot.
it's been decades since i last had one of them,
but HOLY SH!TBALLS, y'all-
i was teleported back to my long-haired youth
when i took my first bite of yesterday's brekkie.
i'm guessing that in real-time,
they are at best a very loose approximation of a drake jaun,
for me, in the here and now, what with my advanced age, 
and with my memory fogged by twenty years of heavy vegan nerdism,
the tuesday morning scone zone was the sweet spot for nostalgia.
i made apple cinnamon scones on a whim,
with some truly elite streusel on top,
and i've gotta admit:
i outdid myself by accident.
...and that's no joke.
check the time-traveling-reminiscence-type teleport:
they're good, man.
there's no other way to to say it.
here's how it happened,
just in case you're feeling ambitious about breakfast-
preheat your oven to 405℉.
in a medium bowl, combine:
1 stick COLD vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 1/2 cups flour;
1 cup white whole wheat flour;
2 tsp baking soda;
1 tsp baking powder;
2 T sugar;
3 T brown sugar;
cut all that together,
and fold in:
2 apples, peeled, cored, and minced;
3/4 cup non-dairy yogurt;
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger;
1/4 tsp nutmeg;
2 tsp vanilla;
fold, turn, fold, turn again, fold, turn, and fold,
the turn and fold one more time-
ha. do that until everything is uniformly blended,
and the dough is soft an sorta sticky.
press it flat, about 1/2" thick, on a floured surface,
in the shape you want to make 'em-
a rectangle is great for skinny wedges,
a circle is terrific for fat ones,
and any ol' shape will suffice if you're going to cut 'em into shapes.
i went for circles, man.
i like circles.
ghost rings and smoke rings and echoes and ripples and meteoric impacts
all make the same shape,
and that's about the only recommendation i need to make my scones in the round.
and the streusel for the tops?
1/2 cup rolled oats;
1/4 cup white whole wheat flour;
1/4 cup powdered sugar;
3 T brown sugar;
1/2 stick butterish;
1/2 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp cinnamon.
fork rub that stuff until it's one cohesive crumble,
and put it all on the tops, buddy.
i froze mine for a few minutes, before  i baked them.
for the record,
i should've used two trays.
i put them on one,
and the melty blarp-out that ensued, from the apple-moist rise
had them all touching each other within minutes.
they needed about 25ish minutes,
and they turned out amazingly delicious.
for realsies,
they had that throwback coffeecake taste and texture,
plus apple doctor-proofing,
and the streusel was expert AF.
way better than storebought stuff.
today is the day.
my day OFF.
and honestly,
i don't know what to do with myself.
i'll have some treats baked before long,
but dinner is still a mega-mystery at the moment.
there's sourdough bulking on the counter,
and this dog next to me desperately needs a walk-
after THAT,
anything could happen.
i'm not thinking it will,
but it could.
and that's exciting enough for now;
never quiet, never soft.....

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