Friday, May 5


it awakens my hunger, it turns out.
and i needed something expert,
and enormous,
and full-bodied in all the best ways,
to toss down into my sarlacc pit, y'feel me?
that's right, neighbors,
i can't just eat a bowl of cereal for supper.
i mean,
i'm too complicated for something so simple.
no. i'm not bragging.
i'm complaining.
i didn't want to make so many dishes for myself for the fourth night in a row,
rules is rules,
and too much is the right amount,
and super-unnecessary overindulgence is the path to the dark side,
where all the lightning-striking happens,
and all the outfits are way fresher,
and the natural inclination to freak out and go overboard is encouraged.
that's just another way of sayin' that i HAD to get into some big dinner stuff.
and so i did.
i had two sandwiches, like an attack of the clones.
get it?
ugh. stop.
lame references aside,
check out my double-vision exxxplosion:

sourdough bread, home-baked, from scratch,
buttered, grilled and ready to receive all the hottness i could conjure.
good bread makes better people,
even if you're a bad person,
it still makes a better sandwich.
word up!
there's slab pickles, and spear pickles both appearing on the plate-
the flatties are on the bottom the sarnies,
and the others are on top, obvi.
MORE pickles is good for you, anyway.
the slaw is crawnchy as heck,
and it's pretty, too-
shredded purple cabbage, pea-tendril tips, minced scallions,
julienned yellow and orange carrots,
pink salt, black pepper, a twist of lemon, and a slap of vegenaise.
that's how you do it.
and it added the cool crispness to some otherwise fiery flavors-
the red onions were molto sharp.
the reds and greens of the lettuce were ornamental at best,
although MORE veggies is always part of the plan, man.
that tofu, tho.
dredged in a dusty coating of cayenne and smoked applewood salt,
paprika, arrowroot, black pepper, and GPOP,
they fried up with soft centers and hard skins.
i LOVE that.
that wasn't even everything.
i'm sayin',
i'd hate to waste any of my homemade seitan.....
so i didn't.
cayenne, hot paprika, Garlic Powder and Onion Powder, black pepper,
crushed red pepper,
and a sh!tload of smoked paprika were combined,
in no particular order, but in roughly equal proportions, to season, and flavor,
and freshen, and otherwise activate those surly slabs of wheat protein,
and let 'em get all spicy and smoky and burly and awesome.
i'm such a sucker for a double layer of vegan proteins.
i am.
it's just that it feels better to bite into a too-big sandwich.
and if there's two too-bigs?
you can bet i'm about to blarp out on the whole plate.
and while they were added almost as an afterthought,
the cilantro sprankles were refreshing.
almost forgot to sprank it up,
but, the force was strong as eff yesterday,
and i pulled out the win at the end.
then, there's those salt-and-vinegar chips.
you like 'em?
me too!
not all of 'em are vegan.
which is dumb.
they're not called salt and vinegar and milk.
but, i'm a label reader, and i'm a give-a-F*er,
so i got the good ones.
and a sandie with crisps is a sandie that i can hang out with-
and what flavor they've got, guys.
they're bitter, which i can relate to,
but they're also salty,
which again, i resemble most days-
the comination was the right choice for those 'guinis, however,
and i do admit i added some inside of each as i ate.
i'll never apologize for upgrading my food, dudes-
i'll never disrespect the initial effort by not trying it the way i intended first.
i'm nice like that,.
even if i'm the one who made it,
and i'm home alone.
i have to try it before i'll start messing with it.
good habits are good to have, buddy.
even when nobody's looking.
real talk.
cinco de mayo.
tonight, really.
what will i be having?
time will tell.
there's a cold and rainy, grey and gloomy day ahead,
and i've got apointments trying to keep me hungryat the end of the day-
i've got beans, i've got rice,
i've got tomatoes, tortillas, tomatillos, and spice.
really, i'm already ready, except for assembly.
will it be tacos?
burritos? (no)
we'll find out later,. after a quick trip to the market,
and a long day at the studio.
it's all really happening,
the last big feast for the merriment of may.
tonight's the night,
and i can't hardly wait;
never quiet, never soft.....
*from the jawa, meaning WOW!

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