Monday, May 8

FAT STACKS!

more rain?
heck yes.
more pancakes?
oh my god, man- HELL yes.
panniecakes for the baker-man!
...that's me.
it's been a little minute since i went hard on a tall stack of 'jacks
and it's been even longer since i just poured the batter on the griddle 
without a form to hold those pannie-babies into cute shapes.  
but, with a hot pan, some fruit and some flour,
i attended both of those situational absences in one shot.
and i brought the appetite of a titan, neighbors.
ten pancakes.
yup.
in this instance, ten went to eleven pretty flippin' hard.  
but,
why did i eat so many, though?
like,
was i about to go deep into the woods, with a double-bitted broadaxe,
and fell trees like a lumberjack?
certainly not!
...but i DID eat like it.
dudes,
check the foolhardy-shark-glutton-type teleport:
STACKS ON STACKS ON STACKS!!!!
there was no good reason to tune up such a terrific tower of flapcake circles,
other than to give credence and credit and custom to the TRUTH:
too much is the right amount.
wordimus prime.
blueberries, and coconut, all in one place?
yup.
with bananas on top?
naturally.
bloobs and noonoos go together like george and jane,
or george and weezy,
or george and of the jungle.
that's real.
are you feeling hungry?
would you like to know more?
ok.
here's how it all went down:
-
*
PANUEL NORIEGAS!
-
2/3 cups white flour;
1/3 cup white whole wheat flour;
1/4 cup coarse-ground oatmeal (rolled oats in a spice grinder, man);
1/4 cup freshly ground unsweetened coconut flakes
(for a softer, moister, better coconut flour, friends);
1/2 tsp salt;
1 1/2 tsp baking kapowder;
1 tsp baking soda;
2 T brown sugar;
1/2 cup wild maine bloobs (the small sexxxy ones);
dash of cinnamon;
3 T melted vegan butterish;
1 1/2 tsp vanilla (they're panCAKES after all);
1 cup non-dairy milk....
whisk it up, rest it for an hour at least, add more milk if necessary,
(the coconut and oats are SO thirsty, buddy)
and pour it onto a hot buttery griddle.
you know how to make pancakes. 
do that.
-
that's expert-level batter for omega level cakes
more blueberries,
sliced banana,
apples,
and real new hampshire maple syrup.
ten of them was a bit excessive,
but, i mean, 
i'm not about to leave any behind, y'feel me?
that's no joke.
-
and i had skin-on oven roasted crispy ho'sauce activated homeboyfries, too.
mmhmmmm.
i honestly cannot stop myself.
i need that good-good, and there's no voice of reason here to steer me clear 
of another 'nother monstrous helping of hottness.
it's not as if my dog gives a sh!t if i totally blarp out sideways.
so, i cubed up a big ol' tater,
and roasted in with himalayan salt and chunky cracked black peps,
until every cube was uniformly golden,
and fried 'em up in a little olive oil and onions,
with Garlic Powder and Onion Powder and smoked paprika,
until the real life onions were caramelized,
at which point i put the crisp to it with several glugs of ho'sauce.
and scallion sprankles, too.
rules is rules, y'heard?
damn. 
like, DAMN, duders.
breakfast had me feelin' some kind of way.
the stacks were only 5" circles-
but, still,
that means i consumed 50" of pancake,
it seemed reasonable in the moment, 
as they went right down the hatch, no problemo.
that's just it, friends-
if i couldn't do it, i wouldn't.
i have a preexisting disposition to putting away vast stores of calories.
and i have a killer pancake game.
when those two things overlap,
the outcome is predictable.  
***********
guys,
i had a day full of regular clients.
no. 
not ordinary clients.
regulars,
frequent guests.
and that's always good news.
because they know what's up,
and they know how it goes,
so it goes much smoother, and we have more fun.
the usual trepidation that interferes with the gettin'-t'know-ya phase
is out of the way,
and we can focus on an organic conversational flow, 
and with an understanding of what tattoos entail,
so that all of our expectations are well met.
that happened.
today, however,
is the exact opposite:
ordinary clients i've never seen before.
should be a hoot.
oh, and most of them are dudes.
my faves.
-
i am going to be spending a great deal of time thinking about dinner.
i can guarantee that.
it's a cheap psychological trick that i employ,
to carry me through the workday.
what's for dinner?
i don't know yet.
that's the point.
but before i get home this evening, i've gotta figure that out....
see?
now i have something to look forward to;
never quiet, never soft.....

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