what else would there even be?
if you've got cookies, you've got the world on a leash.
and when you meet someone who doesn't like cookies?
don't spend any more time with them,
they're defective, and they're bad for you.
cookies are divine discs of delight,
and anybody who says otherwise is a total A-hole.
now, i personally LOVE a good cookie.
that's a fact.
and good cookies are the only kind that i make.
i'm not bragging,
i'm simply stating that i am intent and determined to get expert
on a big batch of from-scratchery each and every time.
started effing around with cookies
waaaaaaaaay the heck back when i was a wee lanky lad of seventeen.
i made my first homemade cookies in high school,
where i wisely took 'skills for living' instead of shop class.
and skills for living meant 'stuff for girls' back then.
i was, in fact the only male in the class;
and also yes,
i was much more gifted in the kitchen than all those hoes,
even in my most angsty long-haired evenflow grunge days.
back to the matter at hand-
decades later, i'm utilizing those skills for livin',
and livin' it up with a big-A* bowlful of burly oaten awesomess.
i took it easy, sorta, and made them simple, mostly.
check out the cookie action, via teleport:
OATMEAL CHOCOLATE CHIP SORCERY, SON!!!!
damn it feels good to eat cookies.
i know, i know,
they're not as superfancy as you guys like to look at.....
but they taste like everything good is happening at once.
that's for damned serious, suckas.
familiar feelings are flowing through every oaty bite of these beige b!tches.
make some for yourself,
then tell me if i'm wrong:
O IS FOR OATMEAL!
C IS FOR COOKIE!
D IS FOR DOPE!
preheat the oven to 375℉
in a medium bowl, cream together:
1 cup dark brown sugar;
1 stick (8T) vegan earth balance butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla.
once blended, stir in:
3/4 cup unsweetened applesauce.
(that makes them 1,000,000✖ better than some funky egg jauns)
the stir in:
2 cups a.p. flour;
1/2 cup coarse-ground oat flour;
(i take whole oats and use spice grinder activation to make them just right)
3/4 cup old fashioned (not quick-and-easy) rolled oats;
1 cup mini chocolate chips.
you'll need to hand squish the final stages of better battery, for best batter upshots.
that's no problem, tho, because you're active participants, and you're ready to rock, right?
form golf balls to the tune of about two dozen+,
and hand-flatten them somewhat.
space them evenly on a baking sheet, or two,
and give 'em about 13 minutes in the oven.
and what you get is pure boomfire for your hungry cookiepit.
and you'll see what all the bravado is based on, bro.
YOU NEED MORE COOKIES IN YOUR LIFE!!!
...also, they taste great,
but that's just because they taste like home, and family, and comfort,
and THAT'S why i had to eat a dozen myself.
too much is the right amount,
that might not apply to waistlines.
jeez, i'm just so psyched on eating this stuff.
i s'pose that's good news, since i do it alone most of the time.
take it easy, that just means i get as many cookies as i want,
and that's great, because i want them ALL.
i spent the whole day playing with my dog.
yes, i did some other stuff while i was up and at it, too.
like, for instance, i also made a batch of seitan,
and started two loaves of sourdough bread,
and set to some puff-pastry dough,
and a big loaf of homemade focaccia,
as well as frying up a pair of very different dumpling fillings for tonight's supper,
and ovenizing a tasty baked treat of two,
plus a big-deluxxxe dinner......
so, not nearly enough to maximize the day OFF.
i exercised outdoors along with my tremendous terrier,
and we hit the town for a long walk through the village and everything!
i should've been buying wiry fences for my grapevines,
and maybe setting fire to the funky leafpiles,
if you could've seen the look of pure joy on crabtree's big sharky stoopidhead,
you'd know i was doing right by my little dude.
you've gotta just make nice, and do a good thing.
i may never get enough done to satisfy myself.
i'm starting to acknowledge that that's likely the worst part of every day,
something that'll have to be dealt with healthily,
and not with defeat and despair.
do MORE, but of all the right things.
that's how i'm lookin' at life today,
and today is the day, neighbors.
will i celebrate this temporary clarity with a huge helping of dumplings tonight?
don't mind if i do;
never quiet, never soft.....