Monday, May 22

WAFTING WAFFLES!!

that big B, b.
...yeah,
i've got that.
y'ever put tahini in your waffles?
do it.
it's good for you.
y'ever put retrofit whole wheat in your waffles?
no?
that sounds weird?
yeah?
you sound weird ho 'bout that, buddy?
it's not a thing, but it's not not a thing either...
it goes like this:
all purpose flour,
but then added wheat germ, and wheat bran.
get it?
you could use whole wheat if that's your thing.
but y'still gotta add the extras back in, too.
rules is rules.
mmmhmmmm.
dudes,
i made some serious, and very photogenic roundies for breakfast,
and i'd like you to take a quick look, via teleport:

WAFFLES, man.
dented pancakes cooked on both sides simultaneously.
that's expert.
and these are especially tasty-
here's the battlefield order of operations,
for those who'd like some hottness in a heaping helping,
today, tonight, or in the future...
-
*
-
in a medium bowl, toss together:
2/3 cup flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
3 T raw sugar;
3 T oat bran;
3 T wheat bran;
3 T wheat germ;
4 T coarse-ground coconut;
1 1/2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
and add 3 T melted butterish;
1 1/2 tsp vanilla;
1 cup 'milk;
2 T tahini.
-
holy sh!t,
after a rough fold-in of everything,
and some rest in the fridge.
you've got a batter that'll freak it off like a filthy little morning romp
through the backstreets and alleyways of edible awesomeness.
real talk.
these waffles were the cornerstone of a monstrous level of satisfaction.
damn.
they have what you need.
...and with buh-noo-noos on top?
and real new hampshire exxxtra-fancy maple syrup?
AND toasted vanilla-kissed sugared almond sprankles?!?!
c'mon.
too much is the right amount.
don't settle for less.
-
of course, it's not a BIG big B if there's just one thing on your plate.
no way.
that's just a b.
and that's not enough for us, is it?
wordimus prime,
we want the superfresh deluxxxe, and the roasty toastiness,
and the add-ons, and the sprankles.
that's how it works.
and when it's working at optimum capacity.
there's got to be homeboyfries on the plate.
oven roasted toasty exxxtra-crispy smoked paprika and GPOP-dusted,
caramelized onion and ho'sauce activated potatoes are so damned delicious.
guys,
i LOVE potatoes.
i realllllllly love 'em when they got the crunch all over 'em,
and i get especially excited if a little cilantro sneaks in,
because that's what you need to give the whole heap a magical tingle.
yeah!!
-
and blackened fried tomatoes ahev become kind of my thing.
they're fantastic, in a british kind of way.
mixed in with scallion-activated nootch-boosted tofu scrambo?
you're taking flavors off the charts,
and into the headwaters of new bodies of expertism.
you make your scram however you'd like, but turn it up with those 'matoes.
do it, please, and let me know how much you LOVE it.
but, if somehow you don''t, keep it to yourself,
and go to the doctor's office immediately.
....i can't hang out with that kind of lameness,
and you probably have something medically wrong with you, too.
hahahaha.
is there anything to add to that?
ummmmm.
yep.
AVO-F*ING-CADO, broski.
just because that sh!t is always invited to the party.
yes.
now that's a brekkie in full effect.
-
don't skimp out on treats for yourself, friends.
at least once a week, i'm gonna need you to hook it up.
it's genuinely good for you.
i mean,
i know i'm worth the effort, so i make the time to make it happen.
you should do the same.
sure,
a lazy twenty extra minutes of sleep is easy,
but it's wasted time.
get up, get after it, get on it, and get it poppin', man,
your body and mind will thank you.
do the things that are dope.
the more of the you do,
the doper you get.
and the doper you get,
the more expert you are.
and when that's what's really happening,
everything else is waaaaay more likely to, too;
never quiet, never soft.....

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