Wednesday, May 31


i just wanted some cake.
so i made some cake.
no surprises, nothing crazy,
just yellow-A* cake.
i'm very pleased to let you know:
it was mother-F*ing expert AF.
i mean it.
look for yourself:

it's just cake.
i didn't even whisk it in the mixer!!!
i knowwwwwwww, right?
here's the cake's details, for your face:
in one regular ol' bowl, combine:
3/4 cup sugar;
1/4 cup brown sugar;
1 stick vegan butter;
2 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp salt;
mix well enough that it's basically mud,
and stir in 3/4 cup vanilla non-dairy yogurt;
from there, it's simple.
2 1/4 cups flour;
3 T arrowroot;
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1/4 cup tapioca starch;
1 cup non-dairy milk;
stir it up,
and bake it, at 350℉, for 30 minutes.
i'm talking about soft, thick, rich, yellow cake here, kids.
in a 10" square pan,
ready to rock.
and when you add chocolate AND vanilla betterthaneverbefore creme frosting?
it's terrific.
straight-up cake, keeping it real.
how do you top that?
rules IS rules, fools.
and that's why i had to pop off those crushed cacao nib sprankles, too!!
heck yes, i did!!
a nice and easy cakey treat, enjoyed by all.
that's nice.
i did the nice.
i'm nice;
never quiet, never soft.....

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