Saturday, December 3


chocolate cake!
chocolate CAKE!!
how much chocolate is enough?
that's a trick question.
first of all- chocolate is good for you.
i think that's a science thing.
secondly- too much is the right amount.
and i know THAT'S no joke.
when it's chocolate cake time at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
we gotta get into that cocoa-loco lusciousness as hard as we can.
i mean,
rules is rules,
and besides,
it's not just doing it that counts for something around here-
it's OVERdoing it.
that's our style, and that's what's up.
check the chocolate-cake-type teleport:

when it's time to brown out in these parts,
it's time to really brown the F* out, buddy.
two tiers of chocolate cake.
frosting in the center.
ganache all over the top, drippin' off of and down the sides,
shaved dark chocolate truff' sprankles grated all over that,
and then MORE frosting for your effing face,
just to make sure you can tell that the deepest darkness
goes all the way to eleven on a 1-10 scale.
that's right.
the cake was simple simple-
two greased and lightly floured 9" round pans
the oven preheated to 350F
and a stand mixer at the ready, for this:
1 1/4 cup sugar (1 cup light brown, 1/4 cup organic granulated)
1 stick butts
3 T creamchee'
3/4 tsp salt
1 T vanilla
^^as always, mash all that up, and add:
1 cup vegan sourcream
1/2 cup cocoa
2 cups flour
1/4 cup tapioca
1 cup non-dairy milk
2 tsp bakey kapowder
1 tsp bakey soda
^^^whipped into a fluffy battery bowlful of rich brown goodness,
and baked for at least 30 minutes, or until a toofpick comes out clean.
...cake. done.
the frosting was no real huge labor, either.
6 T vegan butts
2 T creamchee
1/3 cup cocoa
2 cups kapowdered sugs
a pinch of salt
1 tsp vanilla
and drips and drops of nondairy milky emulsification,
until that chalky cocoa monster was tamed and turned into smooth, airy awesomeness.
- frosting glued the two cakes together,
totally-activated melted chocolate dark ganache sealed in the sexxxiness,
and also seeped down the sides, making everything groovy and gooey for a minute.
the chocolate truffle i shaved up?
it was rich and creamy and dreamy,
and the spranks reflect that, neighbors.
and then, to really give it that hottness,
i triple ringed the rim with frosting.
how does it taste?
oh, C'MON.
you know it's the BIG BROWN BOTTOM-B!TCH!!!
wordimus prime.
i mean, come ON now,
what are you?
an A*-hole?
...don't be dumb.
it's delicioso.
for real, that much chocolate couldn't lead you astray.
go make a cake.
it's a skill that makes you a better you.
everybody can NOT make a cake,
that's no big deal at all.
and almost anybody can rep a box mix jaun.
the thing about that is-
box mix is for jerks.
that is a factual truth from heaven, homies.
part of that statement is false.
despite there not being a heaven,
it's a hell of a weak-sauce showing is you run that just-add-oil-and-water-sh!t.
don't be a turd.
get out the measuring cups,
and get fresh with some gosh-danged cake, dudes;
never quiet, never soft.....

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