Wednesday, December 28


cinnamon rolls,
cinnamon buns,
cinnamon swirls.
whatever, man.
i got 'em,
we ate 'em,
and you need 'em.
real talk.
check the teleport:

this was the first batch of amended-dough dopeness i've attempted.
a little of this, a lot of that, and a bunch of crossed fingers.
good news-
my crazy-person brain knows how to cinnamon,
even in a hurry, by the seat of my pants,
and without exact measurements.
but, i mean, roughly,
i kinda know what was going on-
these rollios are smaller than usual,
because i made the recipe about 2/3rds the size of the normal one,
there's twice as many.
y'see how that goes?
a lotta littles.
i think it goes a lil' somethin' like this:
1 cup a.p. flour
1 cup white whole wheat flour
1/4 cup spelt flour
1/4 cup sourdough starter
2 T wheat gluten
1/2 tsp salt
1 T ground golden flaxmeal
3 T sugar
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup warm soymilk
with 3 T melted butts
1 T bread-machine yeast
(i dunno what it is, but i just like the way this stuff works)
combine the milk, butts, flax, and yeast,
and allow that sh!t to activate.
the rest gets mooshed up as a messy mass,
and then you add the one to the other,
and give it a beatin' in the stand mixer.
you don't have a stand mixer
why didn't you ask for one for christmas??
you're effin' UP.
the resultant dough needs to rise.
keep an eye on it.
the sourdough starter is largely there to add a flavor component,
and the commercial stuff is gonna do all the heavy lifting.
the rest is easy.
roll out a rectangle,
spread a mixture of
1ish cup brown sugar,
3-4 T vegan butts
and cinnamon, nutmeg, and a splash of vanilla,
evenly across the surface of your long doughy dopeness.
and this is the key,
get yourself some thick and luscious jam-
i used blackberry, because i enjoy the sweetest of juices,
and spread a blarpity layer over the cinnamon filling,
paying special attention to coverage in the center 1/3 of the dough.
roll it up, cut it into 16 little swirlies,
spread out evenly in a 10" cake pan,
and bake those babies for about 35 minutes,
or until the golden crumb is as irresistible as the aroma
flooding your nostrils, the kitchen, and the rest of the house.
they're so dope.
i activated 'em with some very melty creamchee'/sugar glaze.
2 T creamchee',
4 T powdery sugs
a drop of vanilla X,
and a splish of soymilk.
for as thick as it was, it sure disappeared on top of the hottness almost immediately.
which was great,
because the glaze soaked right into the bready part,
and made everything even softer and stickier and sweeter than before.
i love treats, neighbors,
and i'm dedicated to making new and better versions of all of them,
all the time.
it's already wednesday.
time is moving faster than i can keep up with.
my kids and i are gonna really need to not sleep a wink
if we wanna maximize the remainder of this week.
of course,
they're out cold upstairs,
and i've been baking like a maniac since before dawn.
so, really, we will have to make the most of whatever's left of each day.
i think we can do it.
i'm determined.
they're demanding.
i see a need, i fill a need.
they create a need, and a mess,
and i think that's how synergy works?
well, then,
we'll just have to improvise;
never quiet, never soft.....

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