Friday, December 2


it's just so easy japanesey!
i'm talking about sushi.
vegan sushi, obvi.
just plants and rice in flat ocean paper....
and i LOVE it.
here's the thing-
i don't want basic baby-b!tch rolls, though.
i want the big action;
the jam-packed turbo-charged super-loveliness;
i want expert vegan give-a-F*ery in full flippin' effect.
and since it's just me and the dog,
and he's unlikely to ever be much help,
it's up to me to stop dreaming it,
and start being it.
and the good news is that i doo-doo that ill-na-nori-style sh!t.
you want the big action, you must create the big action.
check the don't-ig-nori-me-type teleport:

two burly big baddie rolls,
and a little side activation to spice things up.
i baked some sweet potato, and some tofu strips,
to keep the sexxxy times poppin' inside that sooosh-
and while i had all that in the oven, at 375F, getting firm and crisp,
and also soft and sweet?
i put a 3/4" thickness of butternut squash neck,
lathered in soy and sesame oil, right in there too.
that was some future-perfect progressive hottness, no doubt.
i've been baking on parchment exclusively for the last few days,
and what it wastes in sexy paper,
it saves tenfold in cleanup.
...which means more time for more recipes,
which is darned good news for people who like that sort of stuff. you and i.
i also had a little scallion and apple and pea tendril garnish,
and some tamari-horseradish-agave dippin' sauce.
because i like my jauns to be exxxtra-special,
and i like them to be elite,
beyond the standard tastes and textures we already know and love.
anybody can have some as-good-as action,
but we worthy warrior poets want that way-better-than flavor.
too much is the right amount, man.
you should know that by now.
the rolls themselves had huge levels of delicious barely contained inside 'em.
and dredged in dried spicy mustard, cayenne, ground sesame seeds
then cornstarch-coated for crawnchy skin-on savory superiority,
those baked tofu pieces are the TRUTH.
with pan-seared asparagus, cucumber, carrot, pea tendrils,
and finished with sesame seed sprankles?!
and the other other ones?
those got baked sweet potato, tofu, apple, scallion, avocado, and cukes.
word up.
i'm on it.
i'm about it.
and all of it is really happening.
the food portion of the program is no problem at all.
super-official radical vegan bombardment of nutrients
will always be on the move upwards.
...and everything else?
that's altogether a whole other 'nother series of obstacles.
let's focus on the food for now,
and let the sweet potatoes and the cucumbers fill in the blanks for us.
a sushi mat;
good short-grain sushi rice;
seasoned rice wine vinegar;
dead ocean papers, a.k.a seaweed, a,k,a, necessary but so close to gross;
that's what you should have on hand.
i mean,
y'never know when the sushi craving will strike.
you can't be expected to miss out because your larder
or your cupboard
or your pantry
or your whatever you call it doesn't have the appropriate sh!t in it.
i even back up my back-ups.
rules is rules,
and MORE is the correct quantity.
i'm just sayin',
it doesn;t hurt to have it on hand,
but it sure as sh!t sucks butts when you're missing out because you've run out.
go get the stuff, guys,
we'll get it poppin' the next time i come over.
if you know why that's funny,
then you also know i'll be waiting for you here the next time we see each other.
don't worry,
i've got all the stuff to make sushi;
never quiet, never soft.....

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