Tuesday, December 13


you want that tasty new hottness?
i GOT it!
you think one chee' is good?
well, what about two?
now try THREE, bro.
i made myself a quesadilla,
and it was expert as F*.
real talk.
wanna see it?
you do?
okay, good.
check the three-chee'-type teleport:

grande whole wheat tortillas
daiya mozzarella on one side,
(that's one)
blackened seitan chili bits in-between:
seitan crumbles;
sauteed with minced onion and garlic,
seasoned with cayenne, paprika, smoked paprika,
GPOP, coriander, ground mustard, toasted cumin,
ancho pepper, black pepper, and a minute dash of allspice!!
thinned-out cashew-garlic-tofu-nootchy innerchee',
(that's two)
and stuck fast with cheddar daiya on the flip side-
(um, can you count? that's THREE!)
fried up on both sides,
so that crispy shell contained the stretchiest chee'iest boomfire deliciousness!
divided in 6ths it was perfect for scoopling up those sides....
but wait;
before we get into the other other stuffs,
the reason it's in 6ths is because 3 chee's
combined with 3 sauces makes that supremely necessary.
triple sauce is what's good for you, guys-
jalapeno-poblano cholula is bangin'.
texas pete? he's a good dude to have on your plate.
and custom cashew-lime crema?
well, that's the STUFF that dreams begin with...
you take one large scoople of your cashew-garlic chee':
that's 1 1/4 cups soaked cashews
1 block regular-firm drained tofu
mucho olive oil
3 whole-clove sauteed garlic nubs
a handful of nutritional yeast
splash of tamari
Garlic Powder and Onion Powder 1 T ea, at least.
ground mustard and cayenne to taste
1-2 tsp lemon juice
so, a scoople of THAT,
and the juice of a lime,
a splash of non-dairy milk,
and in this instance, a tablespoon of vegan sour cream,
just because i had it, and wanted to use it up.
processed until soupy, and squeezed out generously on top-
you've got yourself the ultimate in vegan cheesy hottness for your face.
NOW we can talk about those ho'saucy, nootch-boosted buttery refried beans.
actually, that's all there is to say-
they're all those things,
and all those things are delicious.
how about that succotash, tho, neighbors?!
i didn't have limas,
and while i bet i could've used edamame,
i chose to go with small red colorado beans.
for no reason other than i like 'em a lot.
i took a cup each of corn, beans, and chopped red onion,
with olive oil, a clove of crushed garlic,
and half a diced jalapeno.
tossed it all together and seared it for a spell,
just until the onion got translucent.
while it was still hot,
i added those grape tomato quarters, a little scallion, salt,
freshly coarse-cracked black pepper,
and a punch of chopped cilantro.
i don"t even know how something so straightforward has so much flavor!!
oh, wait, yes i do,.
because vegetables are F*ing awesome.
word up.
y'know, as the holiday approaches,
i find myself operating on borrowed spirit
and well-rehearsed muscle memory.
what i'm sayin' is-
i'm not feelin' it like i used to,
but i'm also not b!tchin' out like a quittery diaperbaby.
rules is rules,
too much is the right amount,
and Xmas can't compare to XI-mas.
...that's a thing.
XI-mas has to be the elite dopeness, duders.
it's always been the bigger, better, follow-up encore explosion
of family togetherness and fond feelings and warm wishes,
and well-spent time, money, energy, and affection.
i'm still out on the town in my meager spare minutes,
shopping around for the stuff that will make the day
a quantifiable material success in the recollections
of my children in the future.
it's not that there's a ton of stuff to open up.
because there is.
and it's not that it's all about presents, anyway.
but it mostly is.
(expert gift-givers always make sure that gift-giving takes center stage)
it's that the gifts are perfect.
both in content and presentation that show
i've got gratitude and generosity for the folks who stick around.
it's an onslaught of over-the-top thoughtfulness.
yes, there's tons of treats....
but they're treats that've been tailored to YOU.
because i care.
because i know you.
because i've been paying attention,
trying hard, and knowing stuff.....
that's the real b!tchass thing about this year.
my care-o-meter is at a brutal grinchy baseline.
it's about bottomed out.
which, in turn, means that the second-tier circle of holiday gifts and whatnots
is lookin' a lot like they're getting no attention this year.
for what it's worth,
everybody else is already all set as i see it.
my dudes all have love, or all-consuming careers, or both;
and in one case,
voluntarily living with just a car and a dog and no mailing address...
this year,
two people are where my focus is.
harvest and maple.
my kids.
the only ones who will actually be HERE, spanning time.
heck, who knows?
by next year, when driving on their own is a thing,
will they'll even stay?
this might be it.
so i have my sights set on making it the best it can be.
i don't hate holidays.
i like 'em.
this year, though, i just don't like 'em like 'em.
i hope these recipes are worth all the rest of this.
never quiet, never soft.....

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