Saturday, December 10


i love cookies.
i do.
like, on any given day, i'm pretty psyched if i get to munch up a cookie
or two, or three, or more.....
one is alright,
many is better,
and too much is the right amount.
to that end,
i made myself some expert peanut butter cookies-
and by peanut butter cookies,
i mean those upgrade jauns that really have more going on than just
the butts of a peanut could provide-
and i activated them with giant chocolate chunks,
which somehow seemed inadequate;
so i also added a handful of chocolate chips;
and when that looked good,
but not as ferociously decadent as i'd hoped?
word to mother, bro-
i dipped 'em in melted chocolate, too.
that's right.
i'm not afraid to keep putting the chocolate to the peanut butter, neighbors.
tell you what-
check the-chocolate-chocolate-chocolate-p'nut-type teleport:
the secret, as far as i'm concerned,
is to get busy with the custom hottness right from the jump-off.
so, i guess it's actually no secret-
the thing of it is-
i applied the rock bloxxx principle to the thing-
oats and coconut make cookies taste good.
and that is definitely a true story.
here's how to make your own-
preheat that oven to 375F
in a medium mixin' bowl, combine:
1 cup brown sugar;
1 stick vegan butts;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla;
^creamed together, and whisked with:
3/4 cup applesauce;
3/4 cup creamy natural peanut butter;
1/2 cup freshly-ground unsweetened coconut;
to which you're gonna add:
2 cups a.p. flour;
1 1/2 tsp bakey kapowder;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1/2 cup oat flour;
12 oz chocolate chunxxx +
a handful of regular-sized chocolate chips-
that's what you need, dudes.
golfball-sized spheres, rolled, and pressed flat on baking trays,
and baked for 13 minutes will have you sniffing a whiff
of the most wonderful aromas as they waft from your oven
like cartoon perfume ghostclouds throughout the whole house.
that's good for you.
when these cooled off enough to handle
without the chocolate smearing all over my fingers,
i smeared melted dark chocolate ganache all over half of every cookie.
well, i wanted to still see the chunxxx, man.
i had to obey my infinite nature.
nature wins, and infinity seems to take forever on hat victor lap-
it's a genetic override that forbids me from leaving well enough alone-
it always seems to do me a bit of good to do a bit of overdoing it.
i'm serious.
i mean,
just LOOK at those snowflake sprankles, bro.
perfect for this verrrrry-late-fall flurries every F*ing day bullsh!t.
word up.
the main thing i try to remember is:
if you want something good, it's 100% up to you to make it happen.
any positive influences and helping hands you get along the way are great,
but that's not what's gonna get it poppin'.
active participation is key.
the consequences of relying on other people are rarely very awesome.
and really,
it's our choices that create the scenarios in which we succeed of fail.
it's a choose-your-own-adventure,
and sometimes that means skipping around a whole lot.
y'ever try to read one of those books linearly?
it just doesn't make any sense. DO read, don't you?
or are you just looking at pictures of food?
i guess if that's the case,
you don;t have any idea how much i hate your dumb face
for disregarding these words i'm writing to try to connect with you.
it's still on me for relying on you to get after it, and get the gist of it...
i'm choosing the wrench every time, kids.
that means i'm assuming that the monkey in the middle,
the spanner in the gears that breaks the machine,
the adjustable hexagonal tighten-and-loosener,
is the hard-workin' all-purpose harder-way tool to take me where i wanna go.
lefty-loosey or righty-tighty, i'm spinning in circles
and wondering if i'll hold fast or fall out-
one way or the other, it's really happening;
never quiet, never soft.....

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