Sunday, December 18


no bakes!
no-bake blops are the best!
i mean, seriously,
y'ever have one?
they're great.
and the standard-issue recipe is pretty good right off the page.
i think we can do better than those jauns your mama makes.
on the ones,
we know about the rules,
so we have an advantage.
too much is the right amount,
and mom just doesn't understand that it's not only about doing it to it,
and doing it well,
but about OVERdoing it, and then doing even MORE.
so that's what we're gonna get into.
check the teleport:

the shapes!!!
so kyooooooot!!!
that's a little touch of that exxtra-exxxtra expert activation.
and when we make 'em?
we make 'em like we're not even a little bit scared of going overboard.
here's how i did it, so you can take it even further
in one pot,
melt yo'self up half a stick of butts;
a generous half a cup of peanut butts;
a cup of brown sugar;
1/2 cup coconut milk
3 T coconut oil;
2 T vanilla-
meanwhile, in a big ol' bowl-
combine 1 cup flaked unsweetened unsulphured coconut,
2 cups of oats (i did one quick, one slow)
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup cocoa
1/2 cup chocolate chips (they melt when the warmed butts touch 'em)
that's all there is to it.
you mix one with the other,
and possibly add more oats if it's too blarpity.
i always allow mine to cool off enough to handle without scalding myself,
and put it in some silicone molds.
the cute shapes, man.
that's that good-good.
this time around,
i also used a coffee scoop to make those little domes.
from there, it's just kapowdered sugary dusting,
chocolate ganache drizzlin',
and coconut sprankulation!
c'mon, man.
there's no good reason to skip out on these little lovelies.
it's quick, it's easy, and they look like a billion bucks.
you want that.
you need that.
jeez-louise, y'gotta GET it!!!
get after it.

an ice storm?!
oh, you betcha.
i was wondering if there was any benefit to well-below freezing temps.
turns out, the numero uno answer is:
fluffy snow.
fortunately/unfortunately, it's now warmed up enough
for the whole of the sky to to be a semi-solid wall of ice,
essentially frozen in place,
from heaven to earth,
almost motionless in it's density,
save the tinkling stone-cold thematic clinks
on the already established, thick, slippery, treacherous
encrustation on the slowly compacting foot of snow we got yesterday.....
talking about the weather is no fun.
relaying information about the new obstacle course that ma nature
just erected in the neighborhood for my morning jaunt with crabtree
is kind of exciting.
so let's try again,
but this time, read it as such:
won't it be FUN to shovel all this heavyweight wetness?
how about walking up slippery-skinned hills,
and down ice-slicked rock trails?
and what about the driveway?
that'll probably be a penguin-bobsled-slalom until spring now!
it's all about that P.M.A.
and you know i got that.
one hundred percent  Pessimistic Miserable A*-hole.
wordimus prime.
live alone, die alone,
with plenty of slipping and falling while cold and wet in between.
it's all really happening, kids.
and like most of the things that eff up my immediate world,
it's really good-lookin' out in the woodsly goodness this morning.
the ice-limned limbs are something special.
i AM grateful for the opportunity to witness the natural world,
even as it does it's damnedest to confound and confuse
the climate and the weather.
nature wins,
and that's  no joke, and no contest.
look pretty, feel poorly?
that's nature's job
stay ugly, stay dope?
that's all me.
i'll be out gettin' swole on shovelin',
finding balance on dry-land with ice-sheened sea-legs.
i'm checking the weather,
i'm dominating these no-bakes,
and i'm baking bread.
sounds like sunday is definitely funday around here;
never quiet, never soft.....

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