Friday, January 6


apple chunky buttery flaked-the eff-out scone-zone biscuits for your face???
that's what's on the menu, man.
sandwich week doesn't stop at the stove.
the oven is providing plenty of lovin' as well.
check the folk-life-of-luxxxury-type teleport:

c'mo, neighbors.
this is the new truth,
way more true than the old one, by a mile.
look at that hottness.
just LOOK at it!
how does something like that even happen?
to be honest,
it all started with my sister marygrace.
she mentioned that my elite sourdough gift to her at christmastime
would be even more expert with some figs, or fig jam.
and less than a week later,
i stumbled upon some very exclusive, fancy fig jam.
obviously, i immediately scoopled up a couple of jars,
as serendipity should be taken advantage of, always-
and that got me thinking about how to employ, implement,
and activate the utmost in efficacy from that figgy jaun,
while also making the most of sandwich week.
this is what happened, and man oh MAN am i glad it did.
i s'pose you could use any sort of jam,
and i may do just that in the future,
but for now,
i can't picture these being any more perfect that they already are-
make em yourself.
i insist.
preheat that oven to 400F.
1 stick of vegan butts;
3 1/2 T vegan cream chee;
2 1/2 cups flour;
1/2 cup fresh coarse-ground oat flour;
1 tsp cinnamon;
2 1/2 tsp bakey kapowder;
1/2 tsp salt-
cut all that into itself, until it's crumbly, but not perfectly blended,
and add:
1 medium, peeled, minced apple;
3/4 cup vanilla soy yogurt;
1/3 cup soymilk;
1 tsp vanilla-
this is where you fold, and turn, and fold, and turn, forever and ever,
until it's all blended, and folded in on itself, for superior flaky layers.
hand-flatten the dough to about 1/2 " thick, on a very-well-floured surface,
and cut out as many circles as possible, from the dough, until you're all out.
i used a 3" circle cutter, and i got 18(?) from one batch.
i chilled them in the freezer for five or ten minutes,
while i melted up a few pats of butterish for basting on top of each one.
i also employed that dent-the-center tip,
to prevent doming, and it worked, as you can see.
twenty two minutes in the oven,
and i had a panful of the best thing i've tasted in an age.
real talk.
once they were cool enough to mess with,
i sliced 'em all in half,
and lathers and slathered and shmeared that royal fig fuego in each and every one.
holy sh!t.
that stuff is gold.
if i see it again, i'm buying every last jar.
so, you'd do well to grab one if you see one,
before they're all mine all mine all mine.
that's no joke, though.
and breakfast?
pretty much what you'd expect.
one delicious, nutritious, heaping helping of hottness.

i used up the bought baguette,.
toasted it right up,
and stacked it with baconish,
pan-seared seasoned tofu (GPOP, and black pepper)
red onions,
and cucumbers.
that's FRESH, and that's what's up.
i am still psyched to eat more sandwiches too.
i may not be party animal,
but i'm sure as sh!t a mutha-'ucking battle-beast,
and i will war all damned day and night against weak sauce and sated appetites.
wordimus prime, kids.
too much is the right amount,
and i've still got plenty of room for bigger and better sandwiches;
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: