Friday, January 13


sprouted whole oat groats don't even look like oats,
they look exactly like oats,
just probably not as you've most likely imagined them.
no joke.
they are long and oval and skinny!
i regularly check out the secretly awesome foodstuffs section of
my favorite department-style store,
and it is usually a good thing that i did.
sprouted whole oat groats??
that's cool.
and what i did to 'em?
even cooler.
a powerful porridge was made through the process of an 18 hour soak.
why eighteen hours?
because that's much time elapsed between when i thought of it,
and when i used it.
only somewhat.
i knew i wasn't baking again until the a.m.,
when it got created in the noonish light.
that porridge formed the foundation for some of that new new
in the form of circular servings of semi-scottish antioxidant hottness.
check the oatcake-type teleport:

here's how this works:
1 cup groats;
3/4 cup vanilla soy yogurt;
1/2 cup soymilk;
lemon juice-
stirred up, covered and rested until tomorrow.
it'll be fine. put it in the fridge and let it soak.
and assuming it's tomorrow, now-
whisk together 2 cups of flour;
2/3 cup coarsemeal oat flour;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp bakey powpow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
5 T butterish;
all of that, with the fat cut right in,
3 T melted butterish;
that whole wet oaten mixture;
and a cup of small wild frozen blueberries.
uh-huh. stir it until it starts to dough-up,
and then fold and turn and fold and turn the crap out of it,
until it's a wettish, but firm layered situation.
what's the trick to fluffy biscuits?
hand-press it, don't rolling pin it.
that's real.
i put mine down on a reaaalllly well-floured surface,
and flattened it to about 1/2 inch high.
and i had enough to cut a dozen 2 inch circles out,
which i then had to activate with a little sweetness.
i mean c'mon,
they were going to be sexxy blueberry baddies anyway,
if we're going to get into some new sh!t,
then going after it with greater gusto is a must-o.
around here, we overdo it or we don't bother.
on the real,
too much is the right amount.
so how did we do that?
toppings, bro.
brown sugar,
thick rolled oats,
and oatflour,
with vegan butter and vanilla.
the proportions are sort of 1:1 except for the vanilla.
take it easy with that.
that's that streusel jaun,
and it's expert.
i'm just sayin'-
LOOK at how fresh they came out.
baked for 20 minutes at 400F,
they popped off, puffed up, jumped out,
and had everything good going on immediately.
that's word.
this has been the best week.
i know i'm jinxing it by saying it.
but, rules is rules,
and today is the king of jinxes, anyway.
you know it.
today is the day.
friday the 13th.
and it's the residual nearly-full werewolf moon out there, too.
the thing is,
i've had my better clients coming in, for better ideas,
and my bestest friend hanging out have the bestest time,
and we've been beatin' up the burliest berserker barbarian binge-eaten buffet
of all our most favorite things.
i am soaking it all in, sorta like those oats, man.
who knows when this set of circumstances will overlap again?
that's no joke.
this could very well be the last time for a very long time
that the elements of expertism align to allow me and mine
to concurrently span time together as a tag-team of tremendous talent.
and if this is it, i don't want to miss a minute.
it's all really happening,
and i appreciate the sh!t out of all of it.
i've been granted a boon,
but i'd never take it for granted;
never quiet, never soft.....

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