Friday, January 20


homemade focaccia bread?!?!
a.k.a. the new hottness;
a.k.a. that greaze;
a.k.a. perfect sandwich bread.
that's real.
when you hear a sandwich man talk about what bread he uses,
you should probably listen.
a word of wisdom from the wisest of men is only as valuable as
the listener is able to understand it.
i listened, bruh, and i GOT it.
focaccia is soft, but structured.
firm, but not tough.
it's got an ocean of olive oil in it, so it's also impossibly delicious,
and that's a bonus in any scenario.
once you've got the right dough, and in turn, it has turned into the right bread,
you're on the right track to a tremendous sandwich.
...and you naughty nerds know i LOVE a good sandwich.
word up.
let's get right into it, shall we?
check the focaccia-forever-type teleport:

i'm on some other other sh!t now, neighbors.
pickle spears.
frisee and tomato salad, with agave-glazed toasted pepitas,
and white balsamic dressing.
rainbow slaw, with purple cabbage, spinach, carrots and pea tendrils,
black pepper, salt, and vegan mayo.
the side order game is on point.
sandwiches need that.
not because they're lacking something on their own.
jeez. don't be dumb.
i only ever want a sandwich that's a meal in and of itself.
that's not it.
the sides are essential if you know the prime directive
of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress's shark-gluttony clause.
it's in our contract.
rules is rules, man.
if the 'guini is a full course between bread,
the you need MORE stuff outside the bun,
because too much is the right amount.
so, three sides got activated. no big deal.
the sandwich is what's really 'hood in these streets.
buttered, toasted 'caccia!
(like it needed more grease)
with stacker-style slab pickles o the bottom,
and red onion rings on top of that.
the main source of hearty biteable big burly masculine munch-up majesty?
potato fritters.
these jauns are game changers for me.
1 large potato, and half an onion, boiled in salty water-
drained, mashed, and activated with about 1/4 cup garbanzo flour,
a few T of arrowroot,
a dash of soy sauce,
a splash of ho'sauce,
GPOP, black pepper,
a clove of chopped fried garlic,
olive oil, and LOVE, my dudes.
pan-fried patties of that stuff are F*ING AWESOME.
real talk, no foolin', my word is bond, etc. etc.
over that?
slaw is dope.
and over that?
homemade chick-pea black-pepper-crusted vegan roast!!!
i had leftover sausage mixture, and i added in a few spicy spices:
thyme, sage, coriander, smoked sea salt,
and rolled it in fresh cracked black peps.
the normal foil-wrap-and-steam production was in place,
i also olive oiled the outsides, first.
have i not covered vegan sausage in recent memory?
oh. bummer.
i promise i'll get to that again sooner than later.
but for now, let me say that a hot skillet fry-up,
in the leavin's and drippin's of the 'tato oil
took those discs of roasty toastiness
to eleven and beyond.
in fact,
when it comes to sandwiches,
this mutha-effer right here got full marks, flying colors, and top notch accolades.
plus, i got to eat it.
that was pretty cool, too.
and as if the 'guini scene wasn't stacked enough,
i finished it off with another 'nother handful of slaw,
and a spread of malt-vinegar-laced vegenaise.
how dope is that?
the dopest.
no joke.
are you eve paying attention?
go make yourself a sandwich man.
just because it's not sandwich week
doesn't mean we can't rep some strong bread
with stronger fixin's,
to strengthen ourselves for the coming days.
i looked at few recipes,
and then i largely ignored them.
i do that often.
in this instance,
it did not have an negative repercussions at all.
check it out:

one firm, fluffy, shiny, oil-crusty super-elite pan of power for your face!
and it was simple enough to do again, and again.
what's my recipe?
i guess it's like this:
3 cups flour;
2 tsp salt;
1/3 cup olive oil;
2 T vegan butts.
that's the base.
1 cup warm water;
1 T active yeast;
1 T sugar.
stand mixers are the best.
because this sloppy oilbomb needs a kneading
and hey, look,
maybe it needs a little more flour,
or maybe it needs a little more water-
look at it and decide.
it should be stickyish, but not wet.
knead it by hand a few times,
and let it hang out for about an hour.
it should get up to about double the size you started with.
when you're there,
get yourself a brownie pan,
and grease it up.
i used 1 T butterish, and 2 T olive oil.
i know, right?
it's not light on the fats, but it's so light once it's baked.
you'll see.
press the dough to edges, and put some pokey holes in there.
that's what those dimples are, duders.
finger-points, pushed straight through at regular intervals.
it makes it sexy. i dunno what else it does,
but i think it's important.
if you thought too much was the right amount before?
get read, because we are gonna finish this off with even MORE olive oil.
it's necessary.
do it, and you'll be happy you did.
a little brushed on top does wonders.
while your oven is preheating to 425F,
let that rise again, until it's a great big puffy rectangle,
and hook it up with some big coarse salt sprankles.
that's the stuff.
it gets 25 minutes in the oven, until it's golden.
bread in your oven.
bread from scratch.
bread for your head. got it,
so go get it,
it's good for you-
and when it's cooled a bit,
and you're terrorizing half a pan right away?
that's when you're the champion.
you could be a little turd,
and just buy it.
you could be a raging gypsy food warlord,
and put red onion and rosemary on top.
i'm not going to tell you how to live your life.
but i'll leave you with this to consider-
you get a choice.
if you want to be a wet-nappy b!tchbaby diaperhole,
nobody can stop you.
if you want to be an expert,
and an active participant,
and a worthy warrior poet,
the exact same thing is true.
there are a billion reasons not to just be dope,
but none of them excuse you;
never quiet, never soft.....

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