Saturday, January 21


molto molto cayenne!!!
i served up some super spicy fire.
i did.
and i liked it,
a lot.
i've never had real nashville-style hot chicken.
i mean. c'mon.
that's unlikely to be something i'd be all that psyched on, right?
chicken hasn't passed my lips in over twenty years.
i'm old, man.
take it easy.
even though i'm not about that life,
i have seen more than one YouTube video about it.
that's real.
c'mon, now-
you know you've found yourself letting the autoselect next-video feature
lead you to new places before.
i do it, too.
i got to thinking about all that pepper.
and then that thinking led to tinkering in the test kitchen,
and before i realized what was happening,
i had a raging conflagration of capsaicin on my hands.
spicy seitan hotness hottness!!
chili oil, (i believe it's canola with crushed red pepper infused in there)
heated with a 1/4 tsp of cayenne?
that's fire,
...and that's the second helping of heat.
i don't ever want to half-A* what i'm on,
especially when i'm on some other other sh!t.
check the nashville-boom-boom-flame-on-type teleport:

daaaamn, neighbors!
that soft and strong loaf of olive-oily awesome came through a second time.
toasted just a touch, and hooked the heck up with a squirt or three of
turmeric-touched smoky paprika activated mildly-cayenne'd vegan mayo!!!
that stuff is too good to ignore.
so, i pay special attention to it, and allow those flavors to flourish
under the careful creation of my dinnertime inventions.
lettuce is crunchy, and it added a nice cool element to this crispy magma magic.
pickles are a must.
that's a thing.
the nashville style dictates it. and rules is rules.
i personally love a little sweetness nearby to my savory,
so there are a whole bunch of shredded caramelized swet onions on top.
that's my own personal take on the meal,
but it works wonders on the taste, and i sure can appreciate an onion, man.
they're delicious.
i'm suspicious of onion-haters.
i think they may be deficient in character,
and they're not to be trusted.
not with important tasks, secret missions, or the nuclear codes.
that said,
i also hit these jauns up with ho'sauce.
louisiana-style drips and drops.
that's that vinegar tang for everybody who knows what's up.
that leaves the seitan.
are you ready?
it's a ton of black pepper;
smoked paprika;
upwards of a teaspoon!! of cayenne pepper;
hungarian hot paprika;
mortared red pepper flakes;
a pinch of brown sugar;
and a little arrowroot to help it all stick.
dredge the seitan slabs in that red rocketfuel,
and in a hot skillet, melt a combo of butterish and oil,
about 2 T each,
until it's hot but the butts are not browned-
drop your seitan in that, and watch the crust caramelize quickly
and the whites of your eyes turn red from the vaporized spice.
when those are cripsy,
remove them,
and add that chili oil, with the added cayenne,
and when it's HOT,
baste those baby-b!tches with the exxxtra big action boomfuego you've just created.
it's so good.
the bread, and the lettuce, and the sweet onions mitigate the bite,
but it's got all the right notes, in the right order,
and for what it's worth, it's a smash hit in my mouth for sure.
solid gold.
i'll admit to not giving much thought to my strawberry salad.
i'm not sorry.
a little coolwater cuke, some pea shoots, and those sweet off-season berries
all did their job admirably,
but compared to those two sandwiches,
their shine wasn't all that bright.
the crisp-edged fried kale, however,
with that potato fritter on top?
yes. yes.YES.
i love it when i've got that new new in the lineup.
i'm most prob'ly gonna play this one a lot in the rotation.
they're too dope to leave on the bench.
make some.
the recipe is a few posts back.
you'll see,
and then you'll be thanking me.
am i a late bloomer?
i wonder.
if not,
then i'm simply a sh!tty seed that may never germinate.
it took forever for me to decide to get serious about cooking.
picky eaters will stifle the spirit of any adventurous epicurean.
that's true of most things, actually.
one gnarly naysayer can F* up the whole plan.
i know it all too well.
most times, i'm the gnarliest sayer of nays.
not when it comes to food.
i love it too much.
the thing is, it has taken me more time to achieve the lowly level
of self-taught vegan nerdism that i'm at.
in most other thingsm
that same isolated, insulated hard-style hermitage
makes the learning curve more and more of an interminable climb.
time is of the essence,
but the essentials are all elusive.
i'm in a hurry, but my skillset development is NOT.
in work, at play, in love, and in war, the tools i use are makeshift,
and the techniques are all improvised.
wild flowers bloom in crap conditions, surely,
but man, i kind of  wish i had a bit more cultivation.
garden varieties seem less exotic, but they sure are more reliable.
here i am,
wondering what's gonna sprout.
i've got food covered for the moment,
and now i've got to find the right combination of encouragements
to blossom all the rest of these kernels of warrior poetry, too.
it's all really happening,
or is it;
never quiet, never soft.....

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