Monday, January 2


you wanna know why i LOVE sandwich week?
because i LOOOOOOVE sandwiches, stoopid.
and homemade buns make homemade sandwiches twice as expert.
what happens when you fold loooooong-proved pizza dough in on itself
and let it rise again from the chill into a double-dipped dome of dopeness?
what happens is that you get some good-A* breads, bruh-bruh.
the sticky sheen of spent leaven leaves 'em primed for dunkin' in seeds.
i did it right, and slapped the bottoms in coarse cornmeal,
and the tops in toasted sesame sossamons
(leftover from the soosh).
i love positive results.
and also,
i love it when the weird bits in my fridge become something expert.
check the sandwich-start-up-type teleport:

1 tsp leftover fried garlic sprankles;
1/2 small sweet onion, sauteed;
with 1/4 block crushed exxxtra-firm tofu;
added into a food processor with:
1 handful black beans;
smoked paprika, cayenne, ground mustard, GPOP;
3 T olive oil
2 T pickled jalapenos, exxxtra-wet;
2 T chopped collards;
1/4 cup wheat gluten-
blended into a gritty coarsemeal pulp,
and pressed into fattie-boombattie burger patties.
i fried them up with butts,
in a very hot skillet, on an open flame,
for that perfect char,
and they reciprocated by collecting any and all sossamon sesames
that happened to have fallen free from the bunzos,
when i toasted them a minute earlier.
waste not, my dudes.
and what're they fixed with?
they got especially activated with MORE pickled jalapenos,
and some custom vegan mayo, yo.
oh yeah, man, it's the hottness, for sure.
you want this in your mouth, man:
2 T vegenaise;
2 big shakes of hungarian hot paprika;
1 tsp nootch;
a drizzle of dill pickle brine;
and just a little baby bit of  smoky paprika for good measure.
i've been killin' the squiggle game lately
with plastic baggies minus one tiny sliver of corner.
i like those little single serving dispensers for that good-good.
word up.
a few scallion sprankles,
and those burgers were DONE, dude.
i like a sharp and crawnchy slaw, y'all.
i mean, like, i reallllly like it.
and this purple cabbage, straight-up cabbage, chiffonaded collard green,
pea tendril, and radish jaun right here did me proud.
a little pre-salt, and black pepper,
before a drop of mayo-ish kept it from overly wilting,
and i kept shoveling it into my fat hungry face as fast as i could.
spicy fries?
garlic salty, cayenne and parika powdered, arrowroot-sheened
seasoned strips of potato magic are mandatory.
and they got the new new, too.
turmeric, smoked paprika, and vegenaise, 1:1:3 ratio.
how good is that sauce?
and what does that mean?
it means it's what we need.
too much is the right amount, after all.
...and how about pickles?
obvi, there's spears ON the plate.
for realsies,
since when is a burger and fries complete without pickles?
what do you think i am?
some kind of idiot?
no way.
i'm about that sandwich week strength, son.
if it isn't awesome, i don't want it.
day one, done.
and there's still seven more magical dinnertime meals awaiting our attention
i LOVE sandwich week.
that's it:

toasted almost-everything,
tofu, baconish, spinach, shredded carrots, tomato.
no need to go bananas at o'dark:thirty in the a.m.
you'd better believe that by dinnertime,
i'll be droolin' like a fool over some sexxxiness, for sure.
i already baked the baps for the big action:

no time should be wasted when there's sandwich hanging in the balance.
i make my own fun,
and i make sure it isn't any fun.
i've got a system for active partcipation,
and it's in play at the moment.
i make beautiful food,
a free-form mode  of self-expression that relies very little on the spoken word.
i think there's something to be said for that.
(oh, c'mon.)
i'm not the guy who is gentle in his speech-
i look bad, i sound worse, but hopefully,
i FEEL fairer than the befouled and besmirched outer shell,
and the battering patterns of speech i spout.
who know for sure?
i mean,
i wouldn't say it counts MORE that i'm also a delicate dietary architect
of all things compassionate and culinarily cute,
but it sure as sh!t shouldn't count any LESS.
actions speak louder,
unless you've heard MY words.
it's an exception, but not an exemption.
there's no excuses needed.
talk hard, 
cook harder,
stay ugly, 
but don't eat ugly food.
y'want a new year's resolution?
how's that one for you?
wordimus prime,
there's hard styles out there,
and then there's mine;
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: