Saturday, January 28


i said it, man.
rules is rules.
when it's the numero uno, you do the thing.
and i ALWAYS doo-doo the thing.
so i said the words, again,
to cultivate coincidental fortune and favor from the universe.
rabbit, rabbit!
the sorcerous summoning of spirit and memory.
once and again,
because that's my thing.
you know what else is my thing?
hot dumps.
on the ones,
dumplings are the TRUTH.
that's real.
dumplings are delicious and adorable.
and moreover, dumplings are for worthy warrior poets,
hungry heroic homeric hermits,
raging savage stormswept berserker barbarian battle-beasts,
wild-eyed werewolfen gypsy wanderers,
and soul-searching sojourners of the sauce!!!
if you aren't the type  of person who gets into it,
you might be the kind of person who needs to get outta here.
today is the day, guys.
lunar new year.
the year of the FIRE ROOSTER!!!
that's expert.
and when there's expertism afoot,
those of us with the know-how,
and the wherewithal,
and the elbow grease,
and the gumption all get after a big batch of dumps on our face!!!
check the fire-rooster-type teleport:

y'wanna know something?
exxxtra-toasted sesame seeds taste better than untoasted ones,
and even better than regular-toasted ones.
that's no joke.
i had mine on a deep brown  roast before i removed them from the heat,
and it took my dumpling dough out even farther.
like, way deep into the realm of super-deliciousness.
the dough itself couldn't be simpler:
1/2 cup flour;
1/2 cup brown rice flour;
1/2 tsp xantham gum (to keep that rice in check);
1/3-1/2 cup warm water;
pinch of salt;
2 T toasty sesame seeds.
knead it up,
roll it out thin with plenty of extra flour,
and cut yourself some circles, man.
i found a slightly larger sized roundie than my ciustomary one,
and it made me pretty happy.
i mean,
more dumpling space means more dumpling filling,
and everybody already knows why that's good:
too much is the right amount!
and the filling was damned good.
one bunch of green onion bottoms,
plus a fat scoople of shaved sharp white onion,
and two macerated cloves of garlic,
sauteed for a few minutes in sesame oil,
plus 1/2 block exxxtra-firm tofu, crumbled up.
after about five minutes of high-heat stirring,
i added 1/2 cup chopped pea tendrils,
and 2 cups of chiffonaded kale.
i wilted all of that down with 3 T tamari,
2 T rice wine vinegar,
black pepper, ginger, dried mustard, and copious GPOP.
what i got out of the bargain was a deep rich flavorful dumpstuff,
and i'm very pleased with how it turned out.
i let it cool before i scoople it into the dump-dough.
warm ones disintegrate the pocket,
and all you end up with is sh!t-smashed suckiness.
no bueno.
so cool it off, buddy.
and maybe start your dippin' sauce while you're waiting.
yeah. that's the right play.
don't waste time, homie.
it's precious.
you need tangy, you need salty, you need sweet, and you need a lipid.
i also include spicy, because i'm not a A*-hole.
soy sauce, agave, rice wine vinegar, and chili oil.
that should do it.
plus those obligatory scallion sprankles,
i'm sayin',
without 'em, you're just effing around.
get serious, and get your sauce on.
i pan fry my dumps in sesame oil for a minute or two,
and then i blast 'em with liquid.
in this instance, i used fresh, hot seitan broth.
holy sh!t!!
that was some new new!
it was also what's good-good.
no jokes.
three minutes of steamy sizzles from that vaporized victual aqua-vegeta vitae,
and  the whole of my house smelled like a bazaar of exotic mysteries.
i'm serious.
i gave 'em a flip, and then, after a minute more,
another 'nother one, so that the sear on the sides was just crunchy enough
to add a whole deep caramelized level of taste to their already elite profile.
that's how i want everything to be all the time.
here's the thing-
the new moon is TONIGHT.
i do believe that means MORE dumplings.
maybe some soup jauns.
maybe with noodoos, too.
anything can happen,
it's FIRE ROOSTER time,
and that's the right time to strut and holler like the cock-o'-the-walk,
and i mean, also, to play with FIRE.
this is it.
happy new year,
show me your TETs;
never quiet, never soft.....

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