Sunday, January 15


strawberry tarts.
strawberry tarts.
strawberry tarts.
that's three times i wrote it.
because i want to make sure you're paying attention.
i do ever so like a nice little treat-
and a treat with berries and chocolate is nothing to scoff at.
it's a classic pairing,
and it's one of the best.
i made myself some chee'cake style strawberry tarts,
and i'm going to share a bit a bout them.
but first,
check the teleport:

little tartlet pannie-pans, packed with graham flour cookie crust.
i was worried that my experimental crust attempt would sh!t the bed,
but oven magic prevailed,
and turned what i thought would be a flop into a win.
lucky lucky.
what's in it?
1 cup of graham flour;
1/2 cup a.p. flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
4 T melted earth balance butters-
non-dairy milk added in spooful by spoonful,
until the flours stick together nicely when pressed.
^ yup.
it's crumbly.
the downside to not using graham crackers is that flour is much much finer,
so you get a weirder texture to begin with.
i guess that's ok,
but only because the heat from the oven (350F) fuses it all into something good
after about 10 minutes.
and once the crusts are pressed in, and baked up,
y'gotta fill these little effers up.
how do we doo-doo that freaky sh!t?
that's easy, too!
1 tub 8 oz vegan creamchee';
2 T arrowroot;
3 T kapowdered sugs;
2 T lemon juice;
1/4 tsp lemon exxxtract;
1 tsp vanilla;
2-3 T powdered freeze-dried strawberries;
it sets up cold, bros.
how rad is that?
all of that in a food processor, spooned into the centers,
and chilled the heck out.
even though that's some seriously tasty stuff,
i didn't stop there.
i never do.
i mean, c'mon-
too much is the right amount.
so there's also fresh sliced strawberries,
and a drizzle of dark chocolate ganache.
melted chocolate chips and soymilk and vanilla and powdered sugar and heat.
i don't know about you guys,
but i like it a whole bunch when heat does it's thing,
and that alchemy turns some things into something!
and then i took it one step further...
shaving off a few curls of chocolate truffle,
and tossing 'em on top as sexxy sprankles.
tarts, man.
strawberries and chocolate and sugar and little fluted cookie crumbled crusts.
all of that.
it's NOT crazy complicated,
but it looks like some specialty sh!t.
that's expert.
it's really flippin' windy.
and that's the worst.
wind is a total A*-hole.
and when i'm out walking crabtree,
we're BOTH pretty miserable.
the thing of it is-
rules is rules.
he needs it, i need it...
and therefore, we do it.
but, man, it sucks sh!t.
that brisk bite is not cool.
and when you get the runny nose activation,
and the ice-beard rime?
you look as terrible as you feel.
it's just not as easy like sunday morning as i would like.
pulling and pushing and yanking and struggling,
that's how it goes,
and that's how it's going.
the obligation is real,
and the responsibility is fulfilled,
and it's all really happening.
wind is all i think about whenever it's blowing around.
i just think it's a real F*ing jerk.
i'll still be out there;
never quiet, never soft.....

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