Saturday, January 14


galette it together, guys.
do it.
i'm over here feeling especially rewarded and proud of my most recent pie dough.
i don't think i did much different,
i just hooked it up with more vegan butter.
more butter is better.
and in a pie crust?
that's how you make it expert.
beginning with 2 cups of flour in my food processor,
i tossed in 3 tablespoons of vegan creamchee'-
a dash of salt, >1/2 tsp
a scoop of sugar, +/- 2 T
(these are all by-eye measurements, obvi)
a splash of vanilla (roughly 1 tsp)
and a full 12 tablespoons of butts.
word up.
with all of that in there,
it was just a matter of adding in  enough soymilk to barely hold it all together,
a few tablespoons, one at a time is all it takes-
and then pressing it into some tightly-wrapped plastic,
and letting it hang out in the fridge for a day or so.
flaky, crisp, buttery, slightly sweet, golden,
crusty superfresh hottness is what you get.
i mean it.
check the teleport:

at this point, i hope i'm all like, WOW, and sh!t!!!
i mean,
i think that these pinch-edged circles came out nice.
and how about that filling?
those're some next-level wealthy-style jauns.
i mean it.
y'ever had chestnut cream?
i hadn't either,
but i found myself reading the label of a small jar of it,
and realizing that a buttery, vanillafied chestnut spread was just about
the most indulgent thing i could think of,
and it's vegan,
so i HAD to get it.
that's on the bottom.
and above it?
fresh big ol' juicy blackberries.
straight-up- big fatties, piled right on in a ring.
those tastes go really well together.
i'll bet a treat with just those two notes would be like a symphony....
rules is rules,
and when we do what we do around here,
the charter states clearly that too much is the right amount.
and i'm not about to be a half-stepper coming quarter-correct, kid.
if there's room for MORE,
and that's gonna freak it off with the superfanciness?
i gotta.
y'know what really brought the noise?
the fire and the explosions?
the new new, the good good, and took the expertism to eleven?
calimyrna figs.
halved dried drops, rehydrated in a nectar of fig jam and sugar water!!!
no, really.
9 figs, sliced down the middle,
and simmered in 1/2 cup water, with 3 T jam, and 4 T sugar,
on that low low, until the seeded centers were glistening
with soaked-in sweet sexxxiness.
holy hottness, homies-

that's how to turn up that manor-home-sophistication.
and it's actually all pretty simple.
oh. stop.
pinch and fold and pinch the edges of each pastry circle,
and maybe wet the overlaps with a drop of water,
to help 'em all stick together.
i threw down some pastry hearts, too,
for added decoration,
and because i love cute things,
and i don't feel one bit embarrassed about it.
why would i?
cute is what it is,
and i'm positive that what it is is very good for you.
400 F for 25-30 minutes will get you the best thing
that you've likely had in your mouth for some time.
well, yes, obviously there's powdered sugar sprankles on top.
i'm not trying to miss out on the finishing touch!
friday the thirteenth wasn't very hazardous.
in fact,
it passed without incident.
work was great.
dinner was really great.
the evening's activities were all within the functional parameters.
this first week of being 41,
and in turn, the prospects of my adult life,
seem like there's a very specific course i'm navigating along.
it's a hell of a path, too.
it takes longer,
and the going is slower,
and tougher,
-which i can only assume is to catalyze some equally tough get-going.
i've heard that is how it goes when the going gets that way.
i can't say for sure that there's comfort in plotting out
the graph for a planned trajectory along a specific course,
maybe i what i mean is,
and am therefore troubled by,
the specificity of an inexorable collision course?
ummmm, yeah.
of course, i always expect obstacles,
that's life,
but i wonder why i keep keeping on,
and continue to plow through them instead of working my way around?
the shortest distance between two points is a straight line,
but the hardest route has the most sh!t in the way.
i feel like maybe, in my case, they're the same thing.
there's no working around it,
only working through it;
never quiet, never soft.....

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