Sunday, January 29


triple dumpling delicious delights?!?!
F* yeah!
i'm not about to ring in a whole new new moon new year
like a weak-sauce diapery doo-doo baby.
no way.
that's not how it happens in the woodlsy goodness.
all by my lonely,
i STILL had a heroic happy new helping of three kinds of super hottness!!!
word up.
feeling low about being low on friends on a celebratory saturday night?
no worries,
i've got dumps on my face!
all i needed was a direction, and my purpose propelled itself to powerful places.
that's a thing.
once i decided i was going all out on the dump scene,
and i knew full and well the night before-
which is why i pre-gamed a dozen dirty diapers of dopeness-
i just had to formulate a procedure.
i did that while i painted after my first appointment at work.
multitasking keeps the juices flowing in multiple directions,
and that's the best way to hit all the important points in a plan.
boiled, fried, and steamed.
the big three.
the trifecta.
the trinity.
the TRUTH.
check the fire-rooster-type teleport:

that's expert is it not?
yeah, i know.
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress came alive with rolling, and kneading,
and pinching, and folding, and stuffing, and stirring
and every other kind of good food-making technique.
i made seitan in advance, in anticipation.
i made a whole other 'other new tofu filling for more dumps,
and i toasted a sh!tload of sesame seeds.
i'm not scared to overdo it.
in fact, the recurring regret i experience is that i haven't done enough.
you know my flavor, don'tcha?
too much is the right amount.
everything else is less than acceptable.
i'm just one dude,
but i ate all of that food,
and three more of each, too.
not all of it was capable of fitting on the plates.
that's a good way to tell if you're on the correct path.
let me begin by saying that sichuan cukes were a good idea.
cool, but spicy,
with chili flakes and cayenne, and rice wine, and a drop of oil.
i like a little veg to go with my massive dumpfeast.
and those dumplings?
holy sh!t, guys.
i outdid myself.
check it out:

that's minced seitan, sauteed in a dab of veg oil,
with the whites of green onions, and a clove of garlic,
doused with a blast soy sauce...
plus, in the post-heat portion, all the diced green onion tops,
they're good.
really really good.
5" circles of wheat, water and salt, rolled thin,
and crimped around a big scoop of the filling,
placed on squares of parchment in the steamer,
and cooked by hot, wet air for twenty minutes or so.
the lid isn't just removed, either.
that'll eff the whole thing up.
don't do it.
one whole baby bok choy went right in on top for the last five minutes,
withOUT the heat on, but with the lid cracked just a little baby bit-
as the dumps cooled, the greens cooked,
and all of it was perfectly done.
the chewy dense dumps are not playing,
and the crunch in those leaves is top notch.
a splash of seitan broth, with added rice vinegar,
made sure i was getting the full effect.
i dunked them in a rice-wine-vinegar and garlic oil sauce,
with red chilis and toasted sesame seeds.
all that onion, plus the hot and sharp and the nuttiness of the sauce?
expert all the way.
how about this:

pure wheat sesame seeded wrappers,
with carrot leek ginger tofu filling.
i kept it simple.
soy, rice vinegar, GPOP, ginger, black pepper.
the veggies are key.
the previous night's leafy greenies were good,
but these jauns right here were incredible.
the agave-soy-ho'sauce-vinegar-garlic-sesame-oil-scallion sauce is key.
so is the fire rooster freshness of the o.g. fire rooster:
activated with soy and sesame seeds, you've got hottness for whatever you want.
how well do dumps get along with heat?
they're in effing love.with each other, bruh.
a sesame-veg oil blend in a shallow pan,
with a minute or two of sizzle before a blasy of hot water,
and a lid, allow for a hot air ciculated fry-up from the future.
a flip on each side, to fry the skins extra crispy,
and these triangular wedges of wild, worthy, wheaten wonder
are totally ready to blow your buds right off that tongue-piece
and out into the aether of the infinite expanse of universal flavors.
that's no joke,
i combined the remainder of the seitan,
a small clove of macerated raw garlic,
the tofu, sans veg, and some chili flakes,
and filled up the last, but most delicious of my tri-triumphs.
check the teleport:

word up.
i don't know what's in real red oil,
but i know mine had a splash of vinegar, crushed sriracha flakes,
red chili flakes, paprika, hot paprika, and garlic oil.
that sh!t is amazing.
i could've looked it up, i could've checked it out,
but, i went right on ahead and forged my own approximation instead.
i do that sort of thing when i'm already doing a whole mess of things.
how tasty is it?
it goes to eleven, no question.
and those wonton-style raviolis of savory sexxxiness?
potsticker-style pinching, without the crimp,
and with a tip-to-tip hug and press to seal the deal,
boiled in salted water until they float.
a quick drain, a dunk in the oil,
and voila-
your whole life just got measurably improved.
i guarantee it.
if you're aren't going all out, you should start.
there's no good reason to hold back on what you're capable of.
for me,
the best version of myself is the one where i'm by myself.
it's true.
i'm much more focused by my lonesome,
probably because i'm lonesome.
when you're starving,
you can overeat and nobody gives a crap,
but when you're starved for attention,
it's hard not to overact.
and that's not really the truest representation of what's really going on.
here's the thing-
it's ALL really happening,
whether or not anybody else is party to it.
it's a party of one, and that's the one thing i can always count on.
i'm doing a whole bunch, and it doesn't feel like it's enough yet.
i can't imagine if i had to chat and natter
and be friendly and hospitable while i was about my business, too
that's the stuff i save for the studio.
on MY time, i want to get done what's important to ME.
and that's what's up.
food and it's creation and it's consumption-
i care a lot about that.
crabtree the terrible bullterrier-
he's my guy, so i gotta do what needs doing for him.
words, written and read-
i'm not trying to ge any dumber if i can help it.
it's real life, and it's real-life documentarianism.
that's all that there's time for,
as it just so happens,
that's all that seems to be really happening;
never quiet, never soft.....

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