Friday, January 27


blueberries, man.
blueberries are good.
heck, they're really good.
as in: they taste great,
and they have all sorts of secret nutrients,
and they make a purple mess of everything.
the quintessential muffin ingredient.
the go-to for pancakes, too.
i made up a thing,
and it's pretty much all of that at once.
check the teleport:

that's a graham floury, brown sugary, spongy, coffeecakey rectangle
of really hearty, slightly oaty, very tasty breakfast wizardry.
that's not all it is,
this is how you do it to it:
1 cup dark brown sugar;
1 stick vegan butts;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
3/4 cup non-dairy yogurt...
^ whip all that into a frenzy, so it's all sorts of fluffy and wet,
and then dump down the following:
1 cup a.p. flour;
1 cup+ graham flour;
1 handful of whole rolled oats;
2 tsp bakey kapowder;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1 cup non-dairy milk.
^that's dope.
it's all the gritty goodness you could ask for in a treat.
i mean it.
that's not nearly all there is to it.
no way.
i'm not your everyday coffeecaker, bruh.
i like MORE from my treats.
in a rectangular greased and floured pan, we spread that out nice and evenly-
and then,
on top of that,
there's a liberal dispensation of 1 1/2 cups frozen blueberries.
and THEN, (and this is where we get expert)
the remaining pancake batter from wednesday's brekkie came to the party.
what-what, say what, say whaaat??
little minicakes take forever,
and once i had eleven of 'em, i knew breakfast was served.
the thing is, there was enough batter for 22 of 'em.
what to do?
obvi, use it up,
and make it dope.
too much is the right amount.
i'm sayin'-
got an already rad cake batter?
it could always use even more awesomeness.
got an already rad pancakebatter?
maybe it's lonely...
introduce 'em, duders.
they'll hit it off, i promise.
with a cup and a half of oatmeal coconut pannie topping over the graham goodness,
i had a real somethin'-somethin' on my hands.
that's just the hottness i needed for this tasty piece.
...and on top of all of THAT?
and also,
a pinchy pinch of brown sugary sprankles.
word the eff up.
well, yeah.
y'gotta bake it, at 360F, for 35 minutes.
i mean, c'mon, man.
cakes are good. square cakes are included in that.
a big ol' bar of burly blueberry barbarian baked greats is what i want every day.
today is the day, however, where i can have as much as i want.
that makes today a pretty good day.
i even had mine with a scoople of coconut vanilla ice cream.
i'm not about to wimp out in the home stretch.
blueberry cake and blueberry pancakes as one blueberry coffeecake.
i'm glad that unfolded from my mixing bowls to our bellyholes.
that's fortunate, and it's the result of informed ingredient choices.
zero cinnamon was included in this recipe.
and not one bite was lacking for the absence of it.
sorry, cinnamon,
but i'm having a blueberry party over here.
i've got more to do than i've got time to do it.
car registration and car inspections and maintenance work,
terrible tattoos for hours on hours,
ornery dog ownery obligations,
and all of that before it's dark and dumb outside,
with as many chores and errands stuffed into the gaps as possible.
it's friday,
it's chinese new year's eve,
and it's F*ing windy.
it's all really happening, and i'm about 13 minutes
away from diving facefirst into a maelstrom of mandatory participation.
this is it.
i'm not into it,
but i'm in it;
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: