Thursday, January 19


i still hate hard shell tacos.
i do.
i probably always will.
i can't help but hold animosity for anything
that customarily comes equipped with box-mix seasoning,
to dumb-down and eff up those real real home cookin' jauns.
i'm all about the custom spices,
without the secret suckiness of extra salts
and preservatives and anti-caking agents.
those in-house DIY blends are the way to go.
oh, yeah, i know;
i'm so totally one of those people.
you know the ones-
the never-buy-chili-powder people;
the WTF-is-premade-poultry-seasoning people;
the don't mess-around-with-curry-powder people;
i do it myself.
i freak off the combos to my specific personal preferences,
and i doo-doo that freaky sh!t every time i cook something.
on the ones, you know what i think?
box mix is for jerks,
and i'm not that.
if it comes with sauce packets,
or pre-blended spices in a prophylactic-lookin' foil?
grab that little satchel of suck and throw it away, bruh.
save the hobby-kits for the just-add-water crowd.
what the heck was i talking about?
oh, right- hard shell tacos.
hate 'em.
i can't hang out with that nonsense.
i'd rather have nachos if i need that crispiness.
now, now,
i'm sure lots of you dudes love 'em...
and you should follow your heart.
i'm sayin',
if that's your bliss, that's your bliss, man.
that's what poor people do,
and that's not cool behavior when you're in
the active-participation-palace i call home,
and that i also call the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
around here,
rules is rules,
and crunchy tacos can go get F*ed.
i took it even one step over and above my normal routine.
for the record:
i'm a soft flour tortilla man, usually.
i'm not completely stuck in my ways,
and i can adapt and adopt new varieties of hottness
if they're relevant and applicable.
to that end,
i made homemade grilled masa corn tortillas for my supper!!
check the teleport:

i beat up two each of tacos three ways,
and all of 'em on the freshest wraps around.
that's expert as heck.
how freakin' easy were those tortillas?
they were pretty freaking easy.
1 cup of masa harina precooked crushed corn flour;
3/4 cup hot water;
2 T vegan butter;
1/4 tsp salt;
cracked black pepper;
2 T lime juice.
combine all of that,
and knead it until it's smooth.
i turned it out onto my regular wheat-floured countertop,
and gave it a good hand-kneading before wrapping it in plastic,
and letting it chill out for a little minute.
(i had other stuff to prepare, so i did that in the interim.)
after about 30 minutes (ok, maybe 15)
i pulled off golf-ball-sized chunks, and pressed them,
by hand,
between sheets of waxed paper until i had level, even, lovely circles,
roughly 5ish inches across.
a piping-hot skillet, and about a minute of fire on each side
is all you need to make the magic happen.
i got seven gorda guapas from this premier trial batch.
i ate one all alone, right away, and the rest are up there lookin' sexxxy.
those tacos though!!
if you're gonna make fire tortillas,
you can't fill 'em with bullsh!t.
no way.
and all three varieties were DOPE.
wanna know what's up in there?
there's homemade seitan asada, fajota style, piping hot with peppers and onions,
seasoned with oregano, cumin, cayenne, smoked paprika,
GPOP, black pepper, and lime juice.
i might have hit it with a little soy sauce,
and i perhaps added just a little zip of cilantro, and a zap of ho'sauce-
no flavor packets, just intentional activation and a quick taste here and there.
that's on top of de-stemmed frisee lettuce, with jalapeno, and fresh pico de gallo,
and a little scoople of vegan sour cream,
damn, that's a nice bite.
i got those curried chick peas poppin' off, too!
a tablespoon of onion, in olive oil, with about 8oz of chick peas sauteed
with turmeric, cumin, coriander, basil, ground mustard, aleppo pepper,
black pepper, hungarian hot paprika, and Garlic Powder and Onion Powder, obvi.
that accentuated some lime-marinated salty purple cabbage,
with the very bright tightness of fresh cilantro, coolwater cucumber slices,
and then a reactivated resurgence of righteousness with a strip of sriracha sauce!
everything fit in place, and every bite was a victory.
last but not least, i went easy on myself,
and hooked up some avocado and jasmine rice jauns.
with rainbow heirloom tomatoes, shredded baby spinach, a touch of cilantro,
agave-glazed butter-toasted pepitas, for an unreal upgrade in flavor and texture,
a few drops of vegan sour cream,
and cracked-sriracha-flake sprankles.
holy sh!t.
if you aren't feelin' it, you might have had a stroke.
no, really.
go get checked out.
i'm worried about you.
six fat tacos, on six fat tortillas, for just one guy.
i eat beautiful food in gross amounts.
that's the only way to go.
yesterday was also a snow day.
that meant anything could've happened.
it didn't. at all. not by a damned sight.
it was a great reason to stay home, and take it somewhat easy.
like, i only baked three things,
and i only had two dinners,
and i might've only started three sourdoughs,
and so on and on and so forth and further.
doing nothing for me means not doing everything.
it's hard enough feeling like i never do enough,
so, doing less is basically a punishment.
the object, the objective, the objection,
all of it, always, is MORE.
it's all really happening,
and i'd like to find out ho to squeeze a little exxxtra in there;
never quiet, never soft.....

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