Monday, April 3


oh yeah, man.
that's what's up.
that enormous breakfast exxxplosion,
the one that removes the weak sauce from the heavy mettle.
no joke.
only the realest, hungriest, shark-gluttonous-iest appetites
can usually get down to the nitty-grits of a humongous helping
of wholesome hottness at the level-eleven magnitude.
and i am that dude.
breakfast by myself?
don't mind if i do.
too much of everything?
don't be dumb. neighbors.
i'm not about to cheap out and chump myself on some reasonably-sized helpings.
no way.
when i want the BIG B.
nothing but complete overkill wills suffice.all told,
i ate eleven pancakes.
well, ok.
maybe they weren't incredibly huge....
but there were still more than ten of them!
after i cleared my plate, i refilled my plate,
and cleared it again.
rules is rules, julle naaiers.
and you stay until the thing is done.
and you know how i doo-doo that brekkie sh!t?
like this:

my pancake game is strong.
and that's no joke.
make some of my custom signature jauns for yourself if you don't believe me.
but, once you bite into one,
you'll be forced to eat crow along with that delicious pancake.
1 cup a.p. flour, sifted;
1/4 cup fresh-ground dry unsweetened coconut;
1/4 cup fresh-ground whole oat flour;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 1/2 tsp bakey powder
1 tsp bakey soda;
3 T sugar;
whisk all that noise into a cohesive, blended batch of dry ingredients,
and stir in:
3-4 T melted vegan butterish;
3 T vegan sour cream,
or 2 eggs' worth of replacement equivalent;
1 cup non-dairy milk + 1 T lemon juice;
1 tsp vanilla;
rest the batter for an hour.
the oats and coconut will soak up some liquid,
so you may have to gently add a little more 'milk,
before you start pouring batter onto a hot pan.
if you're expert,
into cookie-cutter pancake molds, for maxxximum cuteness.
that's what i'd do (as you can see).
once you activate those hotties with real maple syrup,
and not that poor person brown corn poop slime,
you'll have a veritable victory of victual vistuosity in your mouth.
that's IT!
...and what about another 'nother waffle-fried hashbrown?
just peeled shredded potato, and onion, and oil, and time,
in that dent-making 360 degree hot press.
with himalayan pink salt, for secret nutrients,.
and scallion sprankles for the children,
like wu-TANG, y'feel me?
and tofu scrambo is also a delight.
with brox, and tomatoes?
yeah, those are parsley sprankles.
that's how you do it, buddy.
brick-hued faux-baconical store-bought canada-style circles?
i'm guilty as charged..
i think they taste kinda good, man.
i had 'em, i used 'em, i enjoyed 'em.
i'm not ashamed.
i will eat the heck out of a little bad-for-me,
if it's couched in all that GOODNESS everywhere else.
yins and yangs, bro.
that's a thing.
breakfast IS important,
but the act of making it is where the poetry lies.
fancy homemade custom fluffers, shaped like hearts?
anybody can add water to the pre-measured laziness-
there's just one problem with that:
box mix is for jerks.
real talk.
even though i had that pretend bacon on my plate,
i'm still gonna speak out against the box.
i can't hang out.
also, i feel like we've lost touch with making things.
also also,
homemade tastes better.
also also also,
it's as important as breakfast to be an active participant.
the more we do,
the better we get,
and the better we get,
the better what we do becomes.
it's progress.
it's additive, cumulative,
turning initiative into the superlative.
it's all really happening.
at least, as much as you make it.
don't settle for less,
if we won't do the big action deluxxxe hottness for ourselves,
why would anybody else.
behave like you know you deserve the best.
........and then do even better;
never quiet, never soft.....

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