Tuesday, April 25


oh man!!
what a day!
beautiful weather.
laid-back clients.
well-behaved crabtree.
and a great big fat mexican mutha'-munchin' monday to manage
once all the regular responsibilities of my everyday adult life were completed.
i got after all the routine stuff from the jump-off,
just so i'd be ready to rock after work.
on the ones,
i looked forward to my dinner plan all damned day long.
but first,
i did the dishes, i swept up, i folded laundry,
i walked the dog, i ran the errands, i got the groceries,
i tattooed a few lovely ladies-
including a little freehand floral cover-up and rework action-
and i managed to leave work thirty minutes early.
it's a small quotient of time,
when allotted to committed and conscientious dog ownership-
with crabby and i careening through the mud and leaves of the woodsly goodness,
it actually freed up a little MORE focused and unadulterated kitchen time,
with the good evening light,
the better to capture a picture of what i was confident would be a ferociously filthy,
gooey, sauced-out shark-gluttonous feast for my big fat face.
it's not psychic precognition, it's just determined meal planning.
enchiladas are definitely ON the list.
the nice list.
the guest list.
the A list.
even schindler's list.
that's what 75% accuracy looks like.
what i mean is:
that's no joke.
and when i find a bigger and better soft flour tortilla at the grocery store?
like, the perfect F*ing sized circles.
like, lower calories, but more area.
like, 7" hardcore vinyl record radness, in floppy flour format.
the enchie game turned up a notch with these new-new jauns.
check the double-sauce-type teleport:

i'm pretty sure that's a thing.
i had multiple burners blazing away.
gravy, sauce, beans, and fillings,
plus the food processor pulsing and spinning,
and a whole counter cleared for assembly.
that's what's UP.
the enchiladas themselves had a whole holy helluva lotta hottness.
homemade cashew-garlic-tofu chee'.
daiya mozzarella,
shredded spinach.
scallion greens.
nootch-boosted ho'sauce activated refritos!!!
2T vegan butts + 1 T olive oil;
1/4 cup sweet onion;
3 T finely diced sweet bell pepper;
1 tsp minced jalapeno;
16 oz. cooked, mooshed pinto beans;
(canned is fine, get the fat free ones they're usually the lard-free less-'sgusting vegan ones)  
3T nutritional yeast (nootch);
2 T louisiana/texas-style ho' sauce;
1 1./2 tsp each Garlic Powder, Onion Powder & black pepper.
saute the onion and pepper, add the beans,
stir it up, and mix in the nootch, spices, and ho'sauce.
really, it's so simple, but the FLAVOR is so much more awesome.
but that's not all y'all.
what are you?
new here?
don't be dumb, dude-guy-
too much is the right amount.
and MORE filling fits in a bigger wrap-up,
so there has to be MORE filling.
rules is rules.
so i simmered up a fresh homemade batch of smoky seitan in the a.m. in eager anticipation
of my enchilada extranvaganza in the p.m.
 i took strips of that, with strips of poblano pepper, and onion,
and sizzled them to a golden brown with chipotle pepper powder,
oregano, thyme, smoked paprika, coriander, GPOP, cayenne, and himalayan salt.
homemade seitan is the TRUTH,
how much more expert did it make my enchiladas?
twice the legal limit, at least.
that's awesome news for lovers of illicit 'ladas, am i right?
here's the thing.
i made gravy too.
y'gotta, or your enchiladas are bullsh!t.
no, really.
if you pour homemade gravy in between the tubes,
and under neath, and around them,
it seeps and steams into the tortillas,
and gives them that wet-bottomed juiciness that really real mother'uckers crave.
for realsies.
gravy is crazy simple, too.
my homie travis (vegan_magic_time) discovered as much recently,
and it's changing his life for the better....
don't sleep on it.
and while you're at it, peep his recipe so i can type more about other things...
3 T minced onion;
2 T minced poblano
1 T minced jalapeno;
1 tsp red hot chili pepper (but no anthony keidis, under any circumstances);
1 T vegan butts;
1 T olive oil;
1 tsp ea. GPOP, black pepper, crushed red pepper. smoked paprika,oregano;
1/2 tsp ea. cumin, cayenne, ancho chili;
1/4 tsp. coriander;
himalayan/sea salt;
^ fry all that up until the spices smell astoundingly well toasted,
and the veg has been sweated and softened.
then add in 1/4 cup broth (i used the seitan stuff, and that was a nice touch)
and 1/2 cup crushed tomato sauce-
simmer that all up until it begins to thicken,
add a dash or three of ho'sauce;
a pinch of raw sugar;
and as much as i am loathe to suggest it-
2 T organic agave-sweetened ketchup.
a quick stir and then you just douse your enchiladas with about half of it,
before you bake them, in whatever sized pan you'll need to fit however many you make,
covered in foil, in a 360F hot oven, for twenty minutes.
after that,
you're gonna reapply the rest of the sauce,
which has still been thickening on low heat,
and give 'em another 'nother ten UNcovered.
complicated? a little.
amazing? completely.
worth it? SO worth it.
and even THAT isn't all there is.
i told you-
too much is the right amount.
that's not to be take lightly.
there's also cashew lime crema!!!
in a high-speed food processor,
which i sincerely hope you have, as it is ultra-necessary for expertism,
3/4 cup soaked drained cashews;
a dash of pink salt;
1/2 tsp GPOP (that's 1/4 each);
3-4 T lime juice;
cayenne to taste;
non-dairy milk, added 1 T at a time, until it's all super smooth.
i think i ended up using 1/4 cup or so?
holy sh!t, tho, bros.
that's the next-level drizz that will activate all your latent neurons.
for serious, you will get smarter if you eat this.
actually, i can't say for sure.
but, i know i feel smarter.
that's real, at least.
and even that wasn't the end.
i took these even further-
avocado? check.
sliced fresh jalapeno? check.
leafy, cool, cilantro? check.
red onion and scallion sprankles? WORD UP,
and check yourself if you thought i'd sleep on the spranks, you skanks.
that's a serious commitment to the enchilada scene, isn't it?
you'd better believe it.
all told, even with baking, it still took under an hour.
i had the custom underchee',
the seitan was created in the a.m.
the crema was concocted while the big action was in the oven,
and i STILL made a whole other 'nother side order of sexxiness.
much simpler, but also pretty tasty.
tres hermanas in full effect, too-
brothb-braised butternut squash, sweet corn kernels, black beans,
sweet and red onion bits, poblano pepper, cilantro, scallion,
chipotle pepper, GPOP, and salt, sauteed in olive oil,
and served with little sweet tomato slices.
a quick one pan browning up of everything had it ready with the quickness, too.
i don't understand what compels me to do this,
but my face loves it more than my waistline laments the consequences.
eating alone is for sh!t.
no, not really really.
but kinda.
i made my food bigger, because i had the technology to do so.
i thought that might give me a headstart on intelligent portion control,
but it did not.
like, not at all.
not even one little teentsy teeny-weeny tiny little bit.
i STILL ate more of it because there was nobody to share it with,
so i could just keep going.
taking big eyes-closed-happy bite after bite.
as deliciously indulgent as that was,
given all the effort that went into it,
after an all-day-long of obsessive focus on about how awesome it was going to be,
which was SO spot on, btw,
without somebody to taste-test, and corroborate my account of things,
you'd have to make it yourself to know for certain that i'm a truth-teller.
i'd suggest giving that a shot.
i'd hate for you to miss out.
i mean, it's all really happening,
you've just got to get into it to be a part of it;
never quiet, never soft..... 

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