Thursday, April 13


hash browns are pretty good.
no, that's not exactly breaking news,
but up until a month ago,
i didn't really eff with 'em at all.
and that's because homefries are so expert,
there's really no good reason to skip e'm.
when you waffle-fry a batch of hashies,
and you get that good-good all-over crispy crunch?
the nerd has taken off her glasses and overalls,
and she's super F*ing sexxxy.
then, the very next thing you know,
that shredded mess has transformed into a true a scene stealer.
yesterday morning was no exception-
with paper-thin red onion, himalayan pink mountain salt,
and a whole mess of coarse-cracked multicolored peppercorns,
i had myself a seriously savage stormswept raging round of potato power!!!
check the big-big-breakfastses-type teleport:

c'mon, kids.
that's what's up.
one big and one small potato,
one white, one red, both shredded to bits.
i LOVE this sh!t.
it's crunchy, it's crispy, it's salty, and after a quick peel, a little grater activation,
and a hard squeeze to unjuice those watery spuds,
you just put it in the iron, and walk away.
how awesome is that?
awesome enough to give me time to mess around with the rest of breakfast, for sure.
fried tomatoes?
they're kind of my thing.
what's the story with them?
um, once upon a time,
you put halved grape tomatoes cut-side down, in hot oil, and let them cook.
the end.
they're delicious, dudes. that's the truth.
and when you put them on everything else?
they're doubly delish.
word up,
if you've never had tofu scrambo, you're messing up.
turmeric and Garlic Powder and Onion Powder,
smoked paprika and nutritional yeast, on exxxtra-firm crumbles 'fu,
with a dash of salt, pepper, and olive oil?
that's all you need to have an amazing day.
for serious.
try it, you'll see what i mean.
if you just happen to drop some sliced AVO-F*ING-CADO on top?!!?
it takes it even further to the limits of tastiness.
how could it even get more awesome?
cilantro sprankles.
wordimus prime.
is there even anything else that we could do?
oh, of course there is.
you guessed it-
a splash or three of ho'sauce!!!!
i don't play when it comes to activating an epic brekkie.
and a little drizzle of my buddy pete, from texas, took this sh!t to eleven.
is that enough for you?
good call. that was a test.
you passed.
look here, buddy:
rules is rules,
and enough is never enough.
you know it-
too much is the right amount.
so how about some black beans?
i mean, i had a whole bunch from taco pizza night,
and it'd be dumb to waste them, right?
so a little red onion, and a bit of minced poblano,
and a blast of ho'sauce,
plus some scallion sprankles,
had me happy to hog out on some big black burliness!
i am genuinely delighted whenever i'm eating good food.

there's more where this came from.
the food.
the words.
the pictures.
i do this because i love this,
and i love this because it's fulfilling.
you're reading, i'm writing.
i'm doing what i do,
and i wouldn't have it any other way.
there is a hidden kind of heart and soul in what i'm about.'s there, i promise.
i'm blatantly bleating about how bad-A* my beans are,
but what i'm really composing is a love song to Folk Life & Liberty.
it's a paean to the prowess of active participation,
and it's a major production in a minor key-
that's all you need to know to sing along;
never quiet, never soft.....

1 comment:

Unknown said...

No joke, I've found myself Googling "what is GPOP in vegan cooking?" sporadically throughout the week. It's like you knew, because whoomp, there it is. I wants that hashbrown waffle town. -Nasty N8