Monday, April 24

THAI FIRE!!!

i spanned the entire day tattooing dudes, yesterday.
now, they were nice.
i've been tattooing one of them for the last twelve years.
damn.
he was a kid when i met him,
and now he's a grown-A* man.
it always blows my mind to think i've developed these relationships
that've outlived ones with people i genuinely cared very deeply for. 
i mean,
my clients choose to come back time and again,
for what could very well be a one-man show performed by
the most eccentric rendition of myself;
whereas folks i gave way more of a sh!t about,
and gave way more of my truest self to,
do seem to chose the exact opposite course of action.
now,
i don't know if that's a referendum on the merits of being disingenuous,
or worse,
a vote of no confidence after being taken into my confidence....
there's nothing for it, either.
who else can we be, but ourselves.
how am i not myself?
how. 
am i not. 
myself?  
it's a real albert markovski and brad stand moment, friends.
if you know, you know,
and if you don't, 
you're really operating at a major disadvantage.
i think it's a bit more than familiarity breeding contempt.
no joke,
i think there's a catalyst for calamity in my actual chemistry.
no, not like a psychological brain chemistry dysfunction, bro.
i mean, literally, physically,
i may be giving off a triggering pheromone, man.
-like the one that lets bees know who they all are gonna sting-
a compound that builds up over time,
like a slow-actin' quicksilver jaun.
with prolonged exposure?
it's lethal....to continued relationships.
DAAAAAAAAAMN.
i rep a hard style.

so, 
just to quickly recap how fast that went downhill:
i went from tattooing dudes, which is lame,
to being psyched that they were cool, kinda,
to being flattered that they've kept coming around for over a decade,
to probably ending up old and alone because of an invisible anomaly
that repels all those who span too much time near me......
at least i'm positive there's no proof to purport 
it's plausible my preternatural predisposition to pessimism pushes people 
perilously past the point of pledged passions.
also,
i think some folks hate alliteration, too.
-
jeez.
that kind of spun away from the original narrative.
ok.
but here's a bigger question-
can very spicy food fix ANY of that? 
well,
as of last evening, i'm inclined to say no.
at least, not with just one megadose, anyway.
ha!
neighbors,
i came home to lovely evening light streaming through the picture window,
and it made me want to make something HOT.
mostly because it was deceptively NOT warm, despite the sun.
i did just that.
check the spicy-everything-thai-ish-type teleport:
too much is the right amount!!
i used everything!
and lots of all of it, too.
coconut oil seared tempeh was on the menu,
and so was half a block of cubed tofu, 
sizzled up with half a diced red onion,
and deglazed with a few tablespoons of broth once they began to brown.
that's a good start.
when the liquid has disappeared,
i added in serrano chili, jalapeno, mystery red chili, and sweet yellow bell pepper.
from there,
it was a punch of cabbage and thin discs of rainbow carrots,
a head of chopped broccoli,
two cloves of sliced garlic;
a big handful of torn cilantro, 
two tablespoons of fresh thai basil,
another two tablespoons of scallion,
and 1/4 cup of roasted, toasted, unsalted peanuts.
all that was necessary after all that was a righteous drenching in sauce!!
WORD.
sauce is key in these things.
the current version contained the following:
-
1 T molasses;
1 T sriracha;
1/2 tsp texas/louisiana ho'sauce;
1/2 tsp cayenne;
1 T GPOP;
1/4 tsp fresh ginger;
2 T lime juice;
1 T soy sauce;
1 T rice vinegar;
1/2 tsp coriander;
sriracha flakes;
coarse fresh ground black pepper;
1 T cornstarch.
-
slurried and splashed into the piping hot panful of fresh leafy goodness,
stirred twice, and covered.....
on the ones,
you'll have all the boomfire for your face in under two minutes.
a few extra basil, cilantro, scallion, and peanut sprankles.
and a dust-up of toasted coconut flakes,
took the whole of the texxxture and taste profiles up to eleven, fast.
-
and that coconut lime rice?
c'mon.
s'good.
there's two ways to make coconut rice extra rad.
gummy, or grainy.
i chose grainy, since jasmine rice is flippin' awesome,
and with a 1/4 cup of unsweetened shredded coconut cooked right in with it,
it's totally expert.
i replaced 25% of the water with lime juice, so the rice, all on it's own,
could've been all i had for supper, and i'd have been psyched as heck.
real talk.
-
yeah, the garnish was sexxy too-
baby cukes and pea tendrils and microgreens are all s'kyoot,
and so delish, and so crawnchy.
i like all of that, 
especially when i'm melting my face off.
***********
i don't think i fixed anything with thai chili superheat.
but at least i gave it a shot.
i mean,
c'mon.
where are you guys?
i'm at the fire.
it's all really happening.
and that's the best and worst news i've heard all morning.
there's a lot to consider these days,
as spring sort of actually slowly creeps into the cold mountains of the north.
last time, last year? 
not so good.
but now,
this is the TRUTH;
never quiet, never soft.....

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