Thursday, April 20


F* yeah!!!
i had company over for dinner.
three very different, very expert friend of mine,
in the same place, at the same time,
ready to get busy on some gut-busting belly-blasting shark gluttony.
they say that under normal circumstances,
dinner get-togethers aren't about life-changing meals,
but rather, the spanning of time with people we like.
i don't know what normal circumstances even ARE;
but under my roof, in my kitchen, with my peoples,
i demand the ingestible dopeness explode in every direction,
i insist the elite edible expertism evoke actual emotions, bro.
real talk.
live and direct to your brain, via your mouthpiece,
i'm trying to impress and express my gratitude and generosity,
my professional appreciation, and my good fortune, to all these good fellas.
word up.
and since my buddy beau is about to bounce out west for the season;
and my homeboy carlos has been out of the loop for a few weeks;
and dennis has been hooking the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress up
with allll the good stuff-
it was time to bring the mutha-'uckin' ruckus,
and pump up the volume,
and turn on the loudest, freshest, hard-styled hottness,
and take all of that to eleven.
what could possibly do all of those things,
and still look sexxxy while a group of dudes poked it with sticks?
c'mon, son-
y'know what time it is:
a.k.a. sushi rematch.

we out here gettin' TILTY, fools.
too much is the right amount.
i believe in that statement,
and i don't just stand by it-
i live it.
but, before i get into it-
let me begin with the few non-sushi items on appearing on the spread:
cucumber salad, with sugar snap peas, and scallions,
tossed in rice wine vinegar and sesame oil,
with toasted open-sesame sossamon seed sprankles!
that's a hell of an opener.
we had a pile of edamame with the coarse sea salt crystals, too.
damned right.
rules is rules, and those jauns are on the fixed menu, for sure.
let's get into the big action.
we beat up ten expert extra-large next-level rolls,
plus five styles of maki.
with three sauces, horseradish, and tamari.....
let me begin with my personal favorite,
and by no coincidence, my own custom creation,
taken up a whole other 'nother notch this time,
with the addition of a smoooooooth matcha mayo SAUCE!

bamboo rice is F*ing terrific, and the taste is outstanding.
it already has a jasmine green tea undernote,
so topping it with the subtlety of matcha?
that's twin towers of tremendous attacking your tastebuds!
and when they hit you?
you win!
inside, there's asparagus, spinach, scallion,
cucumber, avocado, pea shoots, and cilantro,
and when you give it a squeeze of lime, too, kid??
.............flawless victory.
next up-
a whole other 'nother new version of vegan sorcery.
i wasn't sure it would work,
but i was sure as heck determined to try anyway:
a spoonful of pearls, with turmeric and paprika and salt, in a half a cup of boiling water,
simmered and stirred for thirty or so minutes, until they were plump, and clear,
and dyed an aquatic eggy color....
a quick rinse, and a little spoon, and you get this:

wordimus prime.
how well does it accentuate that spicy radish magic?
they're pretty much best friends, kid.
that's a roasted red, white, and blue potato roll,
with creamchee', and spinach, next to it.
topped by our house-blend smoked-paprika turmeric SAUCE!
the beet-dyed red one with the sossamon sesame spranks to the left
is, unsurprisingly, also another boomfire banger in these streets-
sweet potato, carrot, radish, and crushed sesame seed/cornstarch tempura tofu!
that's right.
tofu sticks are so good in sushi.
these jauns aren't playing around, either-
tamari and sesame oil and starch and seedflour make for an oh-so-tight skin.
i baked them, but they still got puffed-up like on the fry-up.
there's no measuring this stuff,
y'just toss 'em all together, and throw whatever you end up with in the oven at 400F,
until it looks done to you.
there's no right answer, so you cant eff it up.
that's awesome!
we had some classic-ish rolls, too, of course-
-asparagus, avocado, cucumber, pea shoots.
-inside-out, sweet potato, carrot, pea shoot, cucumber, with seeds and microgreens.
-heartbeet-root-tinted carrot, radish, avocado, tofu, and cucumber.
-MORE pink magic, with scallion, pea shoots, cucumber, and carrot.
...and there was sriracha mayo for some, and that smoky orange sorcery for others.
i mean,
really, the rolls decide what they need for themselves, really.
i just put the activation to 'em,
after they let me know what's required. that crazy?
crazy TASTY, maybe.
and last up for the rolls?
teriyaki tempeh, with purple potato, carrot, and radish-
thin strips of multigrain tempeh, seared in sesame oil,
splashed with a few tablespoons of water,
and activated with a healthy glug of teriyaki SAUCE.
all the sesame, sugar, agave, ginger, garlic, GPOP, and soy,
soaked right into each slab!
you'd have to have it to believe it, but once you have it,
you'll never be the same.
and you KNOW you like the end roll blossom forest.
how could you not?
look, man:

it's like they're erupting with deliciousness.
that means more food than the roll can hold,
and that means we're doing it right.
i'll bet your eye is being pulled away towards those ro'ro'-topped maki-rocking bloxxx.
how could you not be psyched on that much awesome in one bite?
roasted sweet potato, baked tofu triangles, spranks, and that salty roe'pioca!!!!
and the maki didn't stop there.
no way.
what do you think i am?
too much is all there is.
and too much is all there can ever be.
check the teleport one more time, please:

i even made every roll especially fat in anticipation of extra guests.
i'm not trying to let anybody leave in any condition other than full.
red ones for beau and carlos, with avocado and pea shoots, and baked 'fu-
that sweet potato one, with the 'fu and the beet and the blop of SAUCE?
that was the dennis'  first-timer's treat.
above those, tho-
-microgreen, parsnip, and teriyaki tempeh! S'DOPE!
-and beet, radish, carrot, sriracha! S'EARTHY!
all the food, all the friends, all the awesome.
it all unfolded in perfect synchronicity.
i had a great time,
and if nothing else,
i feel as though i provided a meal worthy of a saga.
for realsies, tho-
good food, better people, and crabtree.
always with crabtree.
he LOVES people so much, and i love that about him.
everybody got along great,
everybody ate well,
everybody was a part of it,
that's the best.
i am so grateful for the time i have been given.
no jokes.
the overlaps of spanned time and occupied space
that we share with worth-a-sh!t active participants
are what makes bright spots in dark days an' that.
this is it.
heroic SUSHI vs SUSHI rematch armageddon.
the winner?
never quiet, never soft.....

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