Thursday, April 6


i'm not the world's greatest anything.
i am one heck of a determined guy.
that's not to say i don't find distractions and detours
to postpone some of the scariest big decisions.....
but, even when i'm taking the long road to my destination,
i'm never ever standing still and going nowhere.
that's not cool.
while i may not be the premier vegan sushi maker,
i sure as sh!t am one hundred percent committed to taking it to eleven.
real talk.
my buddy beau came by for a sort of throwback to yesteryear,
when my world cuisine wednesdays got poppin',
and extended family dinners were a thing.
he got here as the edamame were just about ready,
and the rolls were about to be cut.
i have a lot of knives,
i use the really sharp, really good one on the sushi.
the shun.
my favorite 40th berfday present,
courtesy of the cucch.
so i s'pose in a way, it sort of was a family dinner,
and not just because i made enough to feed a family.
that's no joke.
when it's time to rock the party,.
i come correct and i rock the m-f'in' party.
don't believe me?
see for yourself:

neighbors, those rolls are so sexxxy,
(that's not true)
i made black rice, the forbidden emperor kind,
but, i must've effed it up somehow,
because it was roughly 0% sticky.
there's a black rice roll with creamchee' and avocado and plum,
with plum on top, and smoked paprika-turmeric mayo,
hanging out sideways in the corner, that all but fell apart post-slice.
in fact,.
had it held together, there were plans for even MORE black rolls.
it's cool, though...
there's still an epic and heroic saga of sushi on those plates,
and that's the only way i want to live.
take a closer look:

beet-dyed rice, with roasted beetroot, carrot, and sweet potato,
topped with purple and red microgreens!!!
and double dippin' sauces, to turn the taste up even louder.
what do you call that?
oh,. right: expert.
and the other one?
pretty much the hottness, and one of the highlights of the night-
bamboo rice,
with allll the greenery:
pea tendrils, avocado, cucumber, asparagus, and scallion!!
c'mon, man.
plus a little lime wedge side-action,
which really activated those jammies,
.......and those SALADS.
baked sesame tofu, roasted beet, blood orange, avocado, scallion,
sesame seed sprankles, rice vinegar, sesame oil,
and lots of shaved cucumber.
yumyum yummmmm.
that was only one plate!
up next?
the big deluxxxe.
check the teleport:

too much is the right amount!
i told you about the black rice.
*dragon plum roll i'll call that, when it works-
maybe next time.
it was turbo delicious, but unreliable.
*how about that classic veggie roll, as an inside-out-and-opposite jaun?.
no seaweed!
just carrot, cukes, and avocado, rolled in toasty little sesame seeds!
a simple little starter sample of rice and stuff.
from there,
sh!t got really real, real quick.
*the green roll, again.
only in white, like an old school adidas color scheme.
and with more sriracha mayo.
*beet red rice with potatoes, scallions, and microgreens?
damn. it had more umami than your mommy, son.
*asparagus and sesame tofu, with sweet potato, carrot and cucumber!!!
thick, and totally activated by the green jasmine tea taste of that bamboo rice,
and even further upgraded with that smoky turmeric drizzle!
 *beet red blood orange bombs!!!
cilantro, deep red orange, carrot, and tofu, with sesame seed sossamon sprankles!!!
y'gotta take a bite of orange wedge, for extra citrus exxxplosiveness.
that's how you doo-doo that freaky business, buddy.
trust me.
i made it up.
and i know you see that one maki on the bottom,
let's save that for the end roll fountain plate:

maki maki maki!!!
rice, tofu,beet, microgreens, and a dollop of sauce!!!
if you're not prepared to get this exxxxtra,
just have a lame-A* bowl of cereal already, you lazy diaperbaby.
word up, though, because i'm serious.
how dope is it that just about every thing inside this meal
is a complete and whole food on it's own?
i mean, the tofu is another story,
but, rice and veggies and seaweed?
it's pretty much a fantastic energizing luxury endeavor in beauty and nutrition,
and what's even better?
nobody got killed.
that's right.
not one mobile heart-beating animal had to be murdered up and dissected
so that all this vegetable majesty could be made.
a friend of mine took offense to an offhand comeback i quipped out,
as a retort to their unsolicited critique of my roll styles-
to sum up the essence of our exchange,
i agreed that there was, in fact, no spicy tuna on my plate,
and that fish should be left alone in their dirty giant toilet environment
where we can't survive and we have no business F*ing around in,
followed by the statement that i care about living things.
they took that to mean i was inferring they do NOT care about living things.
which i wasn't doing,
that defensive stance does not mathematically withstand scrutiny.
they care about some living things,
but just not the tasty ones.
we're still friends, of course,
but i am so disheartened, so often, by that ingrained indifference.
i mean,
the only honest argument against veganism 
is that you just don't give a sh!t.
^i wish i'd written that sentence, first but somebody else said it.
i wholeheartedly agree with it, though.
i dunno,
my life is not so comfortable that i'm just indulging in the luxury
of a prohibitively expensive and holier-than-thou dieting trend.
i mean, c'mon, bro-
it's been two actual decades,
and that's with my situation ranging from poor to rich to poor,
and back on the climb to comfortable again.
...and i still believe in it,
and i'm still physically healthy,
and i'm still ethically on point with my prnciples
which includes the honest truth that i still think killing and eating animals
is previous-level technology, and also a real d!ck move.
and i don't think  any of this vegan magic culinary super-hottness
is just some first world privilege
that denies our paleo caveman heritage.
at least,
no more so than drive-thru lattes,
or 4G mobile phone service,
or wireless internet.
or washing machines.
or houses.
or agriculture, animal OR vegetable.
look, kids,
i'm not saying you have to do anything differently.
i'm not saying you should do anything differently.
i'm not even saying that you could do anything differently.
after all, maybe you're not.
i'm only saying that that our sushi feast was absolutely F*ing amazing,
and delectable,
and decadent,
and delicious...
even without fresh, raw dead bodies on top.
my plate was cleared, my conscience stayed that way.
maybe that's preachy, maybe it's self-important,
last time i checked,
this is MY platform to talk about all that's really happening.
i tell true stories.
that's it;
never quiet, never soft.....

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